Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, October 1921 · page 29 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #25 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes **Theda Bara**, the famous silent film actress (born Theodosia Goodman), mocking both her professional mediocrity and her recent marriage to director Charles Braban. The main joke concerns a courtroom scene where a skeptical lawyer demands Bara's "real name," implying her stage name is fake. She responds with dignity that courts have legally recognized "Theda Bara" as her actual name—only to immediately undercut herself by exclaiming she's now "Mrs. Charles Braban," suggesting her identity shifts with marital status. The piece criticizes her films as worse than her photographs, yet acknowledges her acting ability if she'd choose better material. It also pivots to commentary on American musical culture, lamenting that American-born singers must adopt foreign names and credentials to succeed in classical music circles—referencing the recent death of tenor Enrico Caruso. The satire attacks cultural snobbery that privileges European authenticity over American talent.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 27 nothing on her. She simply sizzled and cor- uscated with brilliancy. But when she stops talking and turns to her professional life, the brains ooze out some- where. The only thing worse than Theda’s pic- tures was Theda’s play, put on last season. At that, she has real ability as an actress—if she would take up sane subjects. Theda was married the other day to one Charles Braban, a director. A few days after the wedding, she was in court testifying as a witness. They asked her for her name. She said it was Theda Bara. The lawyer was one of these bull-dozing gents. “I want to know your real name,” he said with cheap sarcasm. The courts recently gave the lady the right to change her legal name from Theodosia Goodman, with which she was born, to her stage name Theda Bara; so she replied with dignity, “My real name is Theda Bara. And annihilated the lawyer with a look. The ex- amination had proceeded when she suddenly shrieked, “Oh, no. Excuse me. I forgot. I am Mrs. Charles Braban.” The deeply regretted death of Caruso will be followed by a musical revolution. It is an admitted fact that no good Amer- ican name goes in musical circles. If you were not born on the other side, you have to pretend you were and apologize and take a foreign moniker; or you will not be accepted in your own, your native land. The way things are now, no American singer can possibly break in without going to Europe