Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, August 1921 · page 29 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #23 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is an advice column featuring Captain Billy dispensing humorous responses to readers' letters. The humor relies on deliberate misinterpretation and double meanings: **Letter 1** addresses the 1920s concern about women wearing shorter skirts—a genuine social controversy. Captain Billy's "diplomatic" advice sarcastically flatters the woman while subtly criticizing her hemline. **Letter 2** plays on the idiom "mind your P's and Q's" (mind your manners), interpreting it literally as pints and quarts—suggesting dairy-related measurements. **Letter 3** makes an intentional pun: advice about cooking spaghetti length becomes advice about the pasta's actual length (ten inches). **Letter 4** describes a classic naval prank: convincing a newcomer he'll "come in the next roll"—likely referring to seasickness, where victims would be prone during rough waves. This targets nautical inexperience. The entire page exemplifies *Whiz Bang's* style of gentle, pun-based satire aimed at everyday situations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 27 Dear Capt. Billy—Lately I have been keep- ing company with a delightful girl. Unfor- tunately, however, she is inclined to wear her skirts too short. Could you advise me how I can get her to lengthen them without offending her?—I. Hoofit. Hoofit, old dear, you should learn to be diplomatic. The best way to accomplish the result is to say something like this, “Sweet- heart, your eyes are simply dazzling, but no one will ever notice them, unless you lengthen your skirts. * * * Dear Skipper—What is meant by “Mind your P’s and Q’s?”—Dear Dairy Maid. Probably means “Mind your pints and quarts.” * * * Dear Capt. Billy—I have just been married and would like your advice on how long I should cook spaghetti.—Mrs. Dis N. Terry. Spaghetti should not be cooked too long. About ten inches is right. * * * Dear Skipper Bill—A land-lubber friend of mine recently joined the Navy and has been assigned to my ship. Could you please suggest a practical joke to play on him during his first trip at sea?—Jack Tarr. Bet him a dollar he’ll come in the next roll.