Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, July 1921 · page 60 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #22 — page 60: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains humorous poems and one-liners from a satirical magazine. The title poem ironically describes an elderly, decrepit man—grey, toothless, hunched, with failing strength—yet claims he's irresistible to women because they "fall" for him when walking. The joke relies on the contrast between his pathetic physical state and his boastful claim. The accompanying jokes target common social situations: men hoping to avoid the afterlife's consequences, women trading marital affection for novelty, revealing evening wear, short skirts (a contemporary fashion controversy), and breach-of-promise lawsuits (when men reneged on marriage proposals). These quips mock gender relations, fashion trends, and male behavior of the era with crude, straightforward humor typical of 1920s American satirical magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
58 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang A Ladies' Man Tho I'm growing old and feeble, And my hair is turning grey; And my youth has died within me, And my teeth have passed away— Tho my strength is fastly failing, And a hump is on my back; And my bones are getting stiffer, And my heart is out of whack— Every time I go out walking, Some fair dame is bound to fall, Nothing in the world can stop them— I'm a Ladies' Man—That's all. * * * My friend Wheeler says that many a man who is a good shot in this world hopes he'll miss-fire in the next. * * * Some women allow their husbands to kiss them for sake of contrast. * * * Some evening gowns allow a woman to put up a very bold front. * * * The proper length for skirts as decreed by fashion is a little over two feet. * * * Don't cry Mary-Anne, and there's no use to talk, 'Cause this is the time that we've both got to walk. * * * A man never knows his real value until he's sued for breach of promise.