Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, July 1921 · page 17 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #22 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous etiquette advice column from *Captain Billy's Whiz Bang*, a satirical magazine. The joke is that the column deliberately gives absurd, contradictory answers to sincere etiquette questions—instructing readers to "read these questions thoughtlessly, study the answers carelessly." The satire mocks both rigid social conventions and people anxious about proper behavior. Examples include: suggesting you introduce people with "Boys, have a drink" (casual rudeness); presenting the "Siamese Twins" "en mash" (a crude pun treating them as a single entity); and advising that wandering from a ballroom with a partner is acceptable "if you become delirious." The column appears aimed at working-class or immigrant readers uncertain about American social rules, gently ridiculing both their concerns and the pretentiousness of etiquette itself. The tone is lighthearted rather than mean-spirited—poking fun at formality while hinting that rigid propriety is unnecessary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 15 Whiz Bang Etiquette IS your etiquation on etiquette inetiquate? Do you pull the faux pas, gaucherie, vulgarian, and other boners too humorous to mention? Read these questions thoughtlessly, study the an- swers carelessly and add both to your misinformation on this subject: What do you know about introductions? If Green and Brown met at your home brewery for the first time, would you say, “Green, meet Brown. Boys, have a drink,” or vice versa? Suppose the Siamese Twins dropped in about that time to bor- row your recipe for double brew. Would you present them plurally or en mash? Don’t introduce them; familiarity breeds a thirst. The ballroom should always be a center of (phys- ical) culture and grace. What is the correct position for the gentleman in dancing? Cheek to cheek. For the lady? Vice versa. Is it correct to wander away from the ballroom with a dancing partner? If you become delirious, you may wander.