Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, May 1921 · page 38 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #20 — page 38: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Captain Billy's Whiz Bang* (a 1920s-era humor magazine) presents a extended joke comparing marriage to military combat, using military terminology throughout. The satire depicts marriage as a battle where: courtship involves "presenting arms" and "engagements"; the wife becomes "Commanding Officer" who controls finances, confines the husband to quarters, and conducts "counter attacks" at department stores; household items (pots, flatirons) serve as "hand-grenades"; and children represent the final, most devastating assault ("infantry"). The humor targets both spouses—the husband as a deluded "nut" thinking himself a "Colonel" when powerless, and the wife as a strategic opponent who thoroughly outmaneuvers him. The joke's punch comes from inverting martial hierarchy: the wife commands while the husband supplies, and domesticity proves more chaotic than actual warfare. This reflects post-WWI cynicism about both war and gender dynamics in American marriage.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
36 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang SEVERAL persons of our acquaintance have asked why we refer to marriage in the same sentence with war. There is no difference. A fellow meets a girl and decides that she is the woman he wants to “battle” through life with. You “present arms” and she “falls in.” You talk it over and decide on an “engagement.” At the marriage license bureau you “sign up.” A minister “swears you in.” There are only a few “skirmishes” during the courtship. The real “fighting” starts after marriage. That’s when a man thinks he’s a “Colonel,” and he’s only a nut. In the house, as well as on the “battlefield,” they use “hand-grenades,” such as flatirons, pots, and rolling pins. The wife is usually a good “rifler.” She rifles your pockets every night, takes your large money, and “confines you to quarters.” Whether you have done anything or not, she always has you on the “mess detail.” She makes her “counter attacks” in the department stores, and she knows how to “charge.” She is your “Commanding Officer,” and you are her “Supply Officer.” In the game the fiercest fight is always to come. Wait until the “infantry” arrives. Instead of “shouldering arms,” you shoulder the baby. On the battlefields, shells may screech and scream, but they have nothing on the kid. You get your “walking papers” every night. This is the only “hike” you take.