Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, April 1921 · page 9 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #19 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous short story rather than a cartoon, satirizing Irish-Catholic working-class culture in early 20th-century America. The joke centers on Pat, a devout Irish Catholic who accidentally donates a five-dollar gold piece (a substantial sum) instead of a nickel during church collection. After going to Casey's saloon for his customary drink—following church—Pat realizes his mistake. Casey urges him to ask the priest for the money back. The satire targets the tension between Pat's genuine piety and his practical need for drinking money. His internal struggle—repeating "I hate to do this, but I need the money"—then reversing himself with "to hell with it"—mocks the working-class Irish habit of rationalization and the stereotype of prioritizing bars over financial responsibility, while simultaneously presenting his final renunciation as morally righteous. The humor relies on period-specific details: saloon culture, the value of coins, and Irish-Catholic church attendance patterns familiar to *Whiz Bang*'s audience.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 7 Patrick's Gold Piece For the sake of this story, we will say his name was Pat. Now Pat was a good Irishman and had attended mass at the same church for twenty-five years. In the good old days, when a “slug” was 10 cents and a “schooner” a 5-cent piece, Pat was always visit- ing Casey’s saloon for a wee nip. On this particular Sunday morning, Pat found him- self in church with only a 5-cent piece and a five dollar gold piece in his pocket. During the offertory of the mass, he made the mistake of dropping in the gold piece. After service, following his custom of many years, he slipped into the back door of Casey’s for his morning’s drink. “Have one with me, Mr. Casey,” said Patrick. They both had their drink and Pat reached in his pocket and laid the nickel on the bar. “Come again,” said Casey, “you haven’t even enough to pay for your own drink.” Pat then told of his mistake of putting the gold piece in the collection box. Casey promptly urged him to go at once to Father Monahan, explain his error and get back his gold piece. On his way to the priest he kept repeating to him- self: “I hate to do this; oh, I hate to do this, but I will, I need the money.” He was just about to push the bell at Father Monahan’s home, when he hesitated and again said: “Oh, I hate to do this; in fact, I can’t do it, and I won’t do it. I gave that money to the good Father and to hell with it.”