Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, April 1921 · page 36 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #19 — page 36: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical commentary pieces: 1. **Women's Hemlines**: The author defends shorter skirts against moral critics, arguing that exposing legs doesn't corrupt virtue and that shorter skirts offer health and hygiene benefits (avoiding filthy sidewalks). This reflects 1920s debates over the "flapper" era's rising hemlines. 2. **Debunking Historical Myths**: The piece ridicules scholars who challenge cherished American legends (Pocahontas saving John Smith, Columbus's egg trick, nursery rhyme characters as historical figures). It sarcastically calls for a "Society for the Prevention of Agnostic Historical Writers"—mocking those who apply rational skepticism to national folklore. 3. **Zion City's Leader**: A brief jab at the strict, puritanical ruler of Zion City (appears to reference John Alexander Dowie's theocratic community) for discouraging diamond rings in favor of practical baby buggies—criticizing his joyless pragmatism over romance. The overall tone is irreverent and pro-modernization against conservative moralism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
34 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang musician, and her hair shall be of what color it please God.” *** TO hear the common run of comment on the dress of women, it might be supposed that morals grow short with skirts. Of course, if one believes that the human body is nasty, then the more of it covered the better. But if one does not have such an extraordi- nary view, it is hard to take seriously the arguments of those who would lengthen skirts to preserve virtue. It needs but very little looking and thinking to reach the conviction that the best cure for curiosity about legs is to see legs. Since health and comfort are so markedly con- served by the short skirt, one hopes never to see again on our streets the skirt that sweeps the filth of the sidewalk. *** Some bunk historian claims that Pocahontas never saved John Smith's life; that Miles Standish never talked with Priscilla; and knocks a lot of other Colonial traditions, including the one about Columbus making an egg stand up. Some of these days we will be told that Jack Horner never stuck his thumb in a pie; that the old woman never lived in a shoe; or that Jack never jumped over a candlestick. We need a Society for the Prevention of Agnostic Historical Writers. *** The Zion City ruler orders young men not to give diamond engagement rings but to save the money for baby buggies. He is practical rather than romantic.