Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #16 — page 53: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 51 Re-published After Many Requests FOR SALE—One Ford car with piston ring, two rear wheels, one front spring; has no fenders, seat or plank; burns lots of gas and is hard to crank; carburetor busted half way through; engine missing—hits on two; three years old, four in the spring; has shock absorbers and everything; radiator busted—sure does leak; differential dry—you can hear it squeak; ten spokes missing; front all bent; top blown off—ain't worth a cent; got lots of speed, runs like the deuce; burns either gas or tobacco juice; tire all off, been run on rim; she's a darn good Liz for the shape she's in. * * * Tell the Truth and Shame the Devil Some go to church to meet their lover; Others go their faults to cover; Some go there to blink and nod— But darn few go to worship God. * * * The improprieties of yesterday are the fashion of today. * * * Elucidated “A woman’s life is divided into two great periods.” “Elucidate.” “The first she spends looking for a husband, and the second looking after him.” * * * Heaven will protect a working girl, but whoinell will entertain her?