Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, January 1921 · page 5 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #16 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks the 1920s debate over American history textbooks. The British government reportedly objected to portrayals they saw as anti-British propaganda in U.S. schools, while American anti-British factions wanted even harsher content. The satire proposes a ridiculous "modern" history lesson by "Professor Brenton" that treats biblical and classical history with anachronistic slang—"Eve raised Cain," Noah "got inside dope," Adam was a "game sport." The tone mimics 1920s jazz-age vernacular ("shimmy-shaking school children"), suggesting that revising history to suit political agendas produces absurd, dumbed-down results. The joke: if we're rewriting textbooks for propaganda purposes rather than accuracy, why not make them entertainingly ridiculous? It's satire criticizing textbook censorship and nationalistic history-doctoring.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 3 History Up-to-Date Now that the British are agitating for a change in the American history text books, which, they charge, inculcates our future generations with prejudice against the original mother country, and the anti-British are crying for more, let's fit-in with something in keeping with the spirit of the age. Let's introduce a history lesson that is guaranteed to interest the shimmy-shaking school children of this great and glorious jazz age. Therefore, we offer for your approval, Professor Brenton's “History Up-to-date.” By W. H. BRENTON THINGS started off wrong in the beginning when Adam had to give up one of his ribs for Eve, but in spite of this, he, like a game sport, tipped his fig leaf to her upon their first introduction. All ran smoothly until Eve raised Cain, and thus our ancestors (after the monkeys) kept up a constant increase until Noah got inside dope about the flood, whereupon he built the Ark. Our troubles might have been relegated to the word finis, but Noah stuck up a good old boat and saved his wife, his animals, and their wives. Then Nero