Beadle's New York Dime Library, No. 106 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CHAPTER VI. A COMIO PERFORMANCE, ‘‘Om, nonsense! that’s all gammon, you know!” declared Smithers, who always took everything in the most matter-of-fact way. ‘““ You can’t doit, you know. I'll bet a guinea ou can’t tell me what my name is, you ow. ‘* IT can tell ye phat ye had for Jinner yester- day and phat ye’ll have to-day!” she replied. ‘Oh, humbug!” ‘Will ye lay a guinea on it?” nS BY Jove, I will!” ** Mate, yer honor!” The peasants laughed, and even the soldiers and the constables could not resist a smile at secing the Englishman thus fairly caught. “Oh, come; that’s not fair you know,” Smithers protested; ‘‘anybody could say that; that iseasy enough to tell. It requires no ghost, ou know, to come from the grave to tell us hat a man eats meat for his dinner, you know.” ** How simplo of your honor then to bet a guinea on it.” Again the wil of the shrewd peasant was more than a match for the Englisher. * Your name is Peggy McCarthy, you say?” the captain questioned. ** Yis, yer honor, long life to ye!” ** And you are a fortune-teller?” “‘Sorra a taste of a lie in that!” ‘If you can tell fortunes as well as you can handle that club, by Jove! you must be first chop, old girl!” Smithers protested. ‘*Do you call this weeny bit of sthick a club?” exclaimed the woman, surveying the blackthorn witha lookof profound astonishment. ‘‘Shure! it’s nothin’ but a feather!” ‘¢ Where do ye come from?’ Desmond asked. ** How quare it is that yer honor is so curi- ous!” wasthe wary rejoinder. ‘‘ Answer my’ questions!” Burke replied, sternly. ‘I have the right to ask and the power to compel you to answer,” ‘*Maix! ye have got min enough,” the woman muttered, with a glance at the bold yoomeley anda peculiar and very evident tig tening of her hand on the stick in her fist, ‘‘but if they are no better than these scuts, take away the bagonets an’ I’ll go bail I’d bate the gang!’ ** Answer at once or you will find yourself in trouble!” the officer exclaimed, sternly. ‘‘I am Captain Desmond Burke, commanding offi- cer of this district.” ** An’ phat do yees want to know?” she asked, assuming an innocence that Desmond felt sure was assumed. ‘* Where do you come from and what brings you here?” “Tm from Galway, an’I walked every fut of the way on me tin toes, yer honor.” ‘* Your business here?” demanded Burke; he had a suspicion that the woman was other than she seemed. ““Shure! I tould you that afore; I’m a for- tune-teller.” ** And you are traveling from cabin to cabin telling fortunes?” ** Paix! it is yer honor that’s the fortune-tel- ler now!” with a courtesy. ‘* But what were you doing in this cabin?’ ‘‘T lifted the latch an’ wint in; sorra a sowl was there to the fore, barrin’ meself. I kem last night an’ as I had walked quite a distance an’ was tired entirely, I thought that I would take a sleep until the owner kem back, an’ the furst thing I knew this morning, I heered the divil’s own ruction outside; I kem tothe door an’ this black-muzzled villain—the curse of all the sins cling to him say I! he gev’ me his impi- dence, an’ I dusted his jacket for him, an’ that is all l know about it.” ‘‘T say, Desmond, old boy! she’s a regular strapper, isn’tshe! If she had lived in the time of that old Prussian ne, who was 80 crazy about big soldiers he would have married her to one of his guardsmen, sure!” Smithers ob- served, . - “ You will have to go along with us until I can find time to examine into the truth of your story,” announced Burke. The woman began to look alarmed. “Shure, yer honor, I hope that it is not a hangin’ matter? I didn’t bate them half as hard as i could if ’d set my mind on it!” This declaration made the process-server and his well-thrashed satellites look at each other in wonder. Mistress Peggy McCarthy had not exerted all her strength upon them what would have become of them if she had?” ‘¢- You have interfered with an officer of the lawin his duty—a very serious offense,” Burke observed, severely. ‘And whaled some of her Majesty's con- stables in the most outrageous manner,” Smith- ers continued, with a grave face, although in his heart he was really en oying the idea, ‘* to say nothing of offering to fight a whole detach- ment of Connemara yeomanry, ‘a very serious effense.’” , ‘Oh, wurra, wurra! will I be hanged?” howl- ed the woman. ‘‘ Your explanation is not altogether satisfac- —— tory, either, in regard to your business, I must Shamus O’Brien. be satisfied that your visit to this district was for no bad purpose.” ‘‘Phat harm kin a poor lone woman, the likes of me, do?” sniveled Mistress McCarthy. **'Ye old catamaran!” cried the process-server, “if I had my way I'd string ye up to the near- est tree!” “But ye'll not have yer way, ye dirthy old rocess-server!” retorted the woman, changing er tone instantly. ‘‘I’il go bail I’ll get another whack at you, wan of these days, an’I won’t leave a bull bone in your skin, do ye mind? I’ll mash you as soft as b’iled praties!’ ** See heah, MacDarrow, if you’ll take my ad- vice, you will go and get your life insured!” Smithers counseled. *You must get up behind one of these men and come with us,”’ Desmond announced. **On a hoss?” sc Yes, ” *‘An’ how will I hould on? Shure! I'll be afther slipping off!” ‘“*Oh, no; put your arms around the man.” The woman gave an unearthly how] at this. “Is it hug a man I will?” she cried, “By Jove! I should prefer a she-bear!” Smithers suggested. “T guess it won't hurt you any; we will be at he quarters in fifteen minutes,” Burke. re- ed. ‘‘Oh, captain dear, ye make me blush!” and the virago tried hard to do so, but the attempt was a most decided failure. ‘*Come, get up behind one of them!” **Can I choose me man?’ and she cast a sim- pering glance at the lieutenant, much to Smith- ers’s disgust. ‘*Oh, come, none of that, you know!” he cried; *‘ you carn’t pick me out; I won’t have it, by Jove!” There was a general laugh at this, in which even stern Burke joined. The woman surveyed the soldiers, _“*There’s a weeney man there,” she said, in- dicating a trooper, ‘‘and it’s a foine hoss he has under him, too. ou will promise to carry me nice and aisy, I'll ride wid you, sur, if you pl’ase,” and she advanced to the trooper whom she had selected. He was the smallest man in the party and mounted on about the best horse of them all, a big gray, that looked every inch a hunter. The yeomanry provided their own mounts, and this gray brute bore the reputation of being the est cross-country horse in Connaught, which was saying a great deal when the many noble —s of that province are taken intoconsidera- ion. The rider, who was the village doctor of Bal- linahinch, J ohnny Tims, and a man naturally timid—which was the reason why he owned one of the best horses in the county, so that, in the hunting field, he might escape all danger— was not at all pleased by the selection, but there was no help for it; so he submitted withas good a e as possible, ‘Up with you!” commanded Burke. ‘‘Shall some of these men assist you?” “*T scorn their assistance! Hain’tI a pair of good legs—I beg your pardon, gintlemin, I mane limbs; an’ can’t I lape for meself?” And, no sooner were the words free from her = than, with a spring, wonderfully light, when her size and weight were considered, she vaulted on the horse’s back behind Tims. She wound her arms around his waist and griped him with an energy that completely took the doctor’s breath away. ““Hold on, ye elephant!” he protested; ‘‘do yees think that Lam made of sheet-iron? Ye’'ll break me back in a moment! L’ave go, will ye? One armisenough. Glory to Moses! ye’ve got a gripe on ye like a steam-engine!” *“*T axes ha pardon, sur,” she responded, humbly, “Tm not used to riding wid gintle- men. So she removed one arm, Freee the doc- tor with the right hand and laid hold of the edge of the saddle with the other. urke are the command and the party moved off. The doctor and the woman were in the center of the party, much to the discomfort of the rest, for the horse, evidently resenting the dou- ble burden, began to pranceand kick and cavort enerally in such a manner that it caused the octor, who was usually a very mild-tempered man, to swear worse than the troopers of the famous army in Flanders. Never before had the horse acted in so out- rageous a manner; he soon cleared a space for himself, for the others were compelled to give the fractious steed a wide berth. ‘* The divil’s in the baste, I belave!” cried the perplexed doctor, pulling at the bridle and vainly endeavoring to quiet the beast. ‘‘ Will ve sit stilland be hanged to yees! We'll both over the head of the baste! Be quiet, ye tearer! Curse it, madam, will ye sit still? What the mischief are ye doing? ’oa there!” Up into the air went the hind legs of the horse, then he reared up on his haunches and it viciously; down he went again and ed out with his heels in all directions. *“Ow, ow! I’m fallin’! Tl be kilt, ow, ow! Hou!d onte me!” hewled the woman, 5 CHAPTER VII. z A SURPRISE. “YE murtherin’ fool of a woman, will ye hould yer wist!” the doctor shouted. ‘ Your yells are enough to frighten the siven sinses out of a human, let alone a poor dumb baste that t ** Ow, ow, Dll be kilt!’ continued the virago, suddenly removing her hand from its position around the doctor and grabbing him by the back of the coat-collar, and the result of this roceeding was that the doctor was incontinent- y yanked backward so that he almost slipped out of the saddle. The rage of Tims was unbounded; he had both hands full to restrain the horse which was leaping about like mad, and now that the wo- man had grabbed him by the collar, he expect- ed every moment to be tumbled off the horse and then perhaps be kicked half to death by the heels of the fractious brute. The soldiers, from Desmond downward, were roaring with laughter at the extremely ridicu- lous spectacle, and as for the peasantry their sides fairly ached with laughing, Nearly all of the spectators had followed the troop, running along the road in the rear of the cavalcade, which, owing to the antics of the doctor’s horse, was proceeding very slowly. At last the party reached the spot where the little mountain-road led up into the wild rude lands known as Joyce’s Country. The doctor had been swearing at the top of his lungs, first at the horse and then at the wo- man, whom he blamed for all the trouble, but when the horse came prancing into the t where the two roads met, standing first on his hind legs and then on his fore, lashing and kick- ing in all directions, the doctor’s oaths sudden- ly turned into a loud yell! of pain, “For heaven’s sake, ma’am, will ye take that pin out of yer sleeve and be hanged to ye; it’s two inches into my leg it’s ran—ow, ow!” And, no wonder that the doctor howled with pain, for in the hand that rested on the saddle the woman held a large pin which she had been jabbing industriously into the horse’s flanks ever since she had mounted. Little wonder then, was it that the hunter under the spur of this infliction had been acting more like a crazy steed than one possessed of good sound horse sense. ; But, by a mistake, upon reaching the cross- roads the woman had jabbed the pin into the fleshy part of Tim’s leg instead of into the horse, and the pain of this operation bed pro- duced the fearful howl which had escaped from the doctor’s lips. The cross-roads reached, the time for action had come; all the troopers were widely sepa- rated, for each and every man had given as wide a berth to the prancing horse as possible. With a vigorous wrench the woman pulled the doctor backward as though she was slipping off the horse, and still keeping up her yeils of af- fright to cover up her trick. e doctor lost both stirrups; the horse plunged forward and over he went, sideways, compelled to let go of the bridle by the force of the fall. The woman still succeeded in retaining her position upon the animal, to the astonishment of all, and baving caught the bridle-reins arogoea by the doctor was sticking to the beast with all the skill of the wild Indian upon the prairie, or the champion bare-back rider in the circus. All looked in amazement, expecting to see the rider hurled violently to the ground every min- ute, for not a soul of them had any suspicion of the trick that bad been so cunningly played. The horse had dashed through the rest of the party at topmost speed, all taking ticular care to get out of the way for it wes the general impression that the gray had run away. Ow, ow! I shall be kilt!” shrieked the wo- man, at the top cf ber voice, but still sticking . to the horse, at which all marveled, “Throw yourself off, you fool!’ shouted Burke. Even cunning Desmond had been com- pletely deceived, and had no suspicion of the true nature of the performance. A good hundred yards in advance of the party had the startled steed gained when, sud- denly, there was a wonderful change in the po- sition of the woman, who was apparently clinging by chance to its back. ith a single good stout pull the stuff dress was ripped down in front, a pair of pantalooned legs, : > feet of which were incased in Loots, ap- peare Wonderful was the dexterity with which the rider pulled himself forward, threw his leg over the saddle and almost immediately gsined both stirrups; and there he sat, the Amazonian wo- man transformed into a man, and evidently as good a rider as had ever leaped into a pig skin saddle since the days when the wild steed of the desert first submitted his free neck to man’s domineering will. | The wild Irish yell went up from _ the throats of the peasanty, to be answered by a cry of rage from the lips of the baffled troopers and constables. Too late Desmond Burke understood the value of the prize which he had in his grasp, but now had suffered to escape frem his power; GComicbooks co