Beadle's Half Dime Library, No. 9 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

— ——e ee — — ———_—_—— the grapes from the stalks, the stones fall down and form our hail showers. I would advise those who are of me —— to save a quantity of these stones when it hails next, and make Lunarian wine. It is a common bever at St. Luke’s. Some material cir- cumstances I had nearly omitted. They put their bellies to the same use as we do a sack, and throw whatever they have occasion for into it, for they can shut and open it again when they please, as they do their stomachs: they are not troubted with bowels, liver, heart, or any other intestines; neither are they incumbered with clothes, nor is there a part of their bodies unseemly or indecent to exhibit. Their eyes they can takein and out of their places when they please, and can see as well with them in their hands as in their head! and if by any accident they lose or damage one, they can borrow or pur- chase another, and see as clearly with it as their own. Dealers in eyes are on that account very numerous in most parts of the moon, and in this ar- ticle alone all the inhabitants are whimsical: some- times green and sometimes yellow eyes are the fash- ion, I know these things appear strange; butif the shadow of a doubt can remain on any person’s mind, I say, let him take a voyage there himself, and then he will know I am a traveler of veracity. CHAPTER XIX. THE BARON CROSSES THE THAMES WITHOUT THE ASSIS- TANCE OF A BRIDGE, SHIP, BOAT, BALLOON, OR EVEN HIS OWN WILL: ROUSES HIMSELF AFTER A LONG NAP, AND DESTROYS A MONSTER WHO LIVED UPON THE DESTRUCTION OF OTHERS. My first visit to England was about the beginning ef the present king’s reign. I had occasion to go down to Wapping, to see some goods shipped, which I was sending to some friends at Hamburgh; after that business was over, I took the Tower Wharf in my way back. Here I found the sun very porerens and I was so much fatigued that I stepped into one of the cannon to compose mé, where I fell fast asleep. This was about noon: it was the fourth of June; exactly at one o’clock these cannon were all discharged in memory of the day; they had been all charged that morning; and having no suspicion of my situation, I was shot over the houses on the oppo- site side of the river, into a farmer's yard, between Bermondsey and Deptford, where I fell upon a large hay-stack without waking, and continued there in a sound sleep till hay became so extravagantly dear orien was about three months after), that the armer found it his interest to send his whole stock to market: the stack I was reposing upon was the yest in the yard, containing about five hundred load; they began to cut that first. I waked with the voices of the people who had ascended the ladders to begin at the top, and got up, totally ignorant of my situation: in epatas tee Be run et fell upon the farmer to whom the hay belonged, and broke his neck, yet received no injury my I after- ward found, to my great consolation, that this fel- low was a most detestable character, always keeping the produce of his grounds for extravagant markets. CHAPTER XX. THE BARON SLIPS THROUGH THE WORLD: AFTER PAY- ING A VISIT TO MOUNT ETNA, HE FINDS HIMSELF IN THE SOUTH SEA; VISITS VULCAN IN HIS PASSAGE; GETS ON BOARD A DUTCHMAN; ARRIVES AT AN ISLAND OF CHEESE, SURROUNDED BY A SEA OF MILK; DE- SCRIBES SOME VERY EXTRAORDINARY OBJECTS-—-LOSE THEIR COMPASS; THEIR SHIP SLIPS BETWEEN THE TEETH OF A FISH UNKNOWN IN THIS PART OF THE WORLD; THEIR DIFFICULTY IN ESCAPING FROM THENCE ; ARRIVE IN THE CASPIAN SEA—-STARVES A BEAR TO DEATH—A FEW WAISTCOAT ANECDOTFS—IN THIS CHAP- TER, WHICH IS THE LONGEST, THE BARON MORALIZES UPON THE VIRTUE OF VERACITY. ' ; Mr. Drysones’ Travels to Sicily, which I had with yee pleasure, induced me to pay a visit to Mount Etna; my voyage to this place was not at- tended with any circumstances worth relating. One morning early, three or four days after my arrival, I set out from a cottage where I had slept, within six miles of the foot of the mountain, determined to ex- plore the internal parts, if I perished in the pet After three hours’ hard labor, I found myself at the top; it was then, and had been for upward of three weeks, raging: its appearance in this state has been so frequently noticed by different travelers, that I will not tire you with descriptions of objects you are already acquainted with. I walked round the edge of the crater, which iy to be fifty times at least as capacious as the Devil's Punch-bowl near Petersfield, on the Portsmouth Road, but not so broad at the bottom, as in that part it resembles the contracted of a funnel more than a punch-bowl. At last, ha made up my mind, in I sprung, feet foremost; I soon found myself in a warm berth, and m y bruised and burnt in various parts by the red-hot cinders, which, by their violent ascent, o posed my descent: however, my weight soon ve it me to the bottom, where I Bete myself in the midst of noise and clamor, mixed with the most hor- rid imprecations: after recovering my senses, and feeling a reduction of my pain, I began to look about entlemen, my astonishment, when I me. Guess, ' found myself in the company of Vulcan and his Cyclops, who had been quarreling for the three weeks before mentioned, about the observation of good order and due subordination, and which had oc- casioned such alarms for that space of time in the world above. However, my arrival restored peace to the whole society, and Vulcan himself did me the honor of applying plasters to my wounds, which healed them immediately; he also placed refresh- ments before me, particularly nectar, and other rich wines, such as the gods and goddesses only aspire to, j | j ' on which I re Baron Munchausen. eee Ce After this repast was over, Vulcan ordered Venus to show me every indulgence which my situation re- quired. To describe the a ment and the couch , is totally impossible, therefore I will not attempt it; let it suffice to say, it exceeds A S=sS-SS-SsSSSSSSSSSSSSsSSsSSsssssssessseessesssseseesesesteee | | the power of lan e to do it justice, or speak of —_ ind-hearted dess in any terms satial % her merit. Vulcan gave me avery concise account of Mount Etna: he said it was nothing more than an accumu- lation of ashes thrown from his forge; that he was frequently obliged to chastise his people, at whom, in his passion, he made it a practice to throw red-hot coals at home, which they often parried with great dexterity, and then threw them ye place them out of his reach, for they never attempt- ed to assault him in return, by throwing them back again. ‘“*‘Our quarrels,’ added he, “last sometimes three or four months, and these appearances of coals or cinders in the world are what I find you mortals call eruptions.’’ Mount Vesuvius, he assured me, was another of his shops, to which he had a passage three hundred and fifty leagues under the bed of the sea, where similar quarrels produced similar erup- tions. Ishould have continued here as an humble at- tendant upon Madam Venus; but some busy tattlers, who delight in mischief, whispered a tale in Vulcan’s ear, Which roused in him a fit of jealousy not to be ap- peased, Without the least previous notice, he too me one morning under his arm, as I was waiting 7 on Venus, agreeable to custom, and carried me to an apartment I had never before seen, in which there was, to all appearance,.@ wel, with a wide mouth: over this he held me at arm’s-length, and saying, ** Ungrateful mortal, return to the world from whence you came,” without giving me the least op- rtunity of reply, drop me in the center. I ound myself descending with an increasing rapid- ity, till the horror of my mind deprived me of all reflection. I suppose I fell into a trance, from which I was suddenly roused by plunging into a large body of water illuminated by the rays of the sun!! I could, from my infancy, swim well, and play tricks in the water. I now found myself in paradise, considering the horrors of mind I had just been re- leased from. After looking about me some time, I could discover nothing but an expanse of sea, ex- tending beyond the eye in every dMrection; I also found it very cold, a different climate from Master Vulcan’s shop. At last lL observed at some distance a body of amazing magnitude, like a huge rock, ap- proac ng me; I soon discovered it to be a piece of floating ice; I swam round it till I found a place where I could ascend to the top, which I did, but not without some difficulty. Still I was out of sight of land, and despair returned with double force; how- ever, before night came on, I saw a sail, which we approached very fast; when it was within a very small distance, -I hailed them in German; they an- swered in Dutch; I then flung myself into the sea, and they threw out a rope, by which I was taken on board. I now inquired where we were, and was in- formed, in the t Southern Ocean; this opened a discovery which removed all my doubts and difficul- ties. It was now evident that I had from Mount Etna through the center of the earth to the South Seas: t contemee, was a much shorter cut than going round the world, and which no man has accomplished, or ever attempted, but myself: how- ever, the next time I perform it, I will be much more particular in my observations, I took some refreshment, and went to rest. The Dutch are a very rude sort of people; I related the Etna p e to the officers, exac Sem I have done to you, and some of them, icularly the captain, seemed by his grimaces and half-sentences to doubt my veracity; however, as he had kindly taken me on his vessel, and was then in the very act of ad- ae to my necessities, I pocketed the af- ront. I now in my turn an to inquire where they were bound? To which ey answ they were in ae ees a ee sad ey, et 8 rue, @ new passage iscovered, and we shall not return disa nted.”’ We were now exactly in Captain Cook’s track, and arrived the next mo rin Botany Bay. This place I would by no means recommend to the English government as a receptacle for felons, or place of punishment; it should rather be the reward of merit, nature having most bountifully bestowed her best gifts upon it. We stayed here but three days; the fourth after our departure a most dreadful storm arose, which in a few hours destroyed all our sails, splintered our bowsprit, and brought down our topmast; it fell di- rectly upon the box that inclosed our compass, which, with the compass, was broken to pieces, Every one who has been at sea knows the conse- quences of such a misfortune: we now were at a loss where to steer. At woe oy the storm abated, which was followed by a y brisk gale, that car- ried us at least forty knots an hour for six months! [we should suppose the Baron has made a little mis- take, and substituted months for wag when ‘ve be- gan to observe an amazing c e in everything about us: our spirits became light, our noses were regaled with the most aromatic effluvia imaginable: the sea had also changed its complexion, and from green became white!! Soon after these wonderful alterations, we saw land, and not at any great dis- tance an inlet, which we sailed up near sixty | es, and found it wide and deep, flowing with milk of the most delicious taste. Here we ded, and soon found it was an island consisting of one large cheese: we discovered this by one of the company fainting away as soon as we landed: this man always had an aversion to cheese; when he recovered, he d the cheese to be taken from under his feet: og ex- amination we found him perfectly right, for the whole island, as before observed, was nothing but a into the world, to. Se eeiin T — ee a. Eee 2 oS — cheese of immense magnitude! Upon this the in- habitants, who are amazingly numerous, principally sustain themselves, and it grows every night in pro- rtion as it is consumed in the day. Here seemed to be plenty of vines, with bunches of la Pigs Se which, upon p , yielded nothing but milk. We saw the inhabitants running races upon the surface of the milk: they were upright, comely figures, nine feet high, have three legs, and but one arm; upon the whole, their form was graceful, and when they quarrel, they exercise a straight horn which grows in adults from the center of their fore- heads, with great adroitness; they did not sink at all, but ran and walked upon the surface of the milk, as we do upon a bowling-green. Upon this island of cheese grows great plenty of corn, the ears of which produce loaves of bread, — ready made, of a round form like mushrooms. We discovered, in our rambles over this cheese, seven- teen other rivers of milk, and ten of wine. After thirty-eight days’ journey, we arrived on the opposite side to that on which we landed: here we found some blue mold, as cheese-eaters call it, from whence spring all kinds of rich fruit; instead of b mites, it produces peaches, nectarines, ap- ricots, and a thousand delicious fruits, which we are not acquainted with. In these trees, which are of an amazing size, were plenty of birds’ nests; among others was a kingfisher’s, of prodigious magnitude; it was at least twice the circumference of the dome of St. Paul’s Church in London, Upon inspection, this nest was made of huge trees curiously joined together; there were, let me see (for I mcke it a rule always to Per anhin compass,) there were upward of five hun- red eggs in this nest,and each of them was as large as four common hogsheads, or eight barrels, and we could not only see, but hear the young ones chirping within. Having, with great fatigue, cut open one of these eggs, we let out a young one unfeathered, considerably larger than twenty full-grown vul- tures. Just as we had given this ee his lib- erty, the old kingfisher lighted, and seizing our cap- tain, who had been active in breaking the CBB, in one of her claws, flew with him above a mile high, and then let him drop into the sea, but not till she had beaten all his teeth out of his mouth with her wings. Dutchmen pereny swim well: he soon joined us, and we retreated to our ship. On our return we took a different route, and observed many strange objects. We shot two wild oxen, each with one horn also like the inhabitants, except that it sproute from between the Fe of these animals; we were ard concerned at having destroyed them, as we found, by inquiry, they tamed these creatures, and use them as we do horses, to ride upon and draw their ; their flesh, we were informed, is ex- cellent, but useless where people live upon cheese and . When we had reached within two days’ etnies of the ship, we observed three men hanging a tree by their heels; upon inquiring the cause of their ent, I found they had all been trav- elers, and upon their return home had deceived their friends, by describing places they never saw, and re- lating gs that never happened; this gave me no concern, as 1 have ever confined myself to facts. As soon as we arrived at the ship, we unmoored, and set sail from this extraordinary country, when, to our astonishment, all the trees upon shore, of which there were a great number very tall and large, paid their res to us twice, bowing to exact time, and imm recovered their former Pt mnee hy) which was quite erect. By what we could learn of this CHEESE, it was considerably larger than the conti- nent of all Europe! After sailing three months, we knew not where, be- ing still without compass, we arrived in a sea which ap to be almost black: upon tasting it, we found it most excellent wine, and had great difficulty to keep the sailors from getting drunk with it; how- ever, ina few hours we found ourselves surrounded by whales and other animals of an immense magni- tude; one of which appeared to be too large for the eye to form a judgment of: we did not see him till we were close to him. This monster drew our ship, with all her masts standing, and sails bent, by suction into his mouth, between his teeth, which were much larger and taller than the mast of a first-rate man- of-war. After we had been in his mouth some time, he opened it pretty wide, took in an immense quan- tity of water, and floated our vessel, which was at least five hundred tons burden, into his stomach; here we “yy: quiet as at anchor in a dead calm. The air, to be sure, was rather warm and very offen- sive. We found anchors, cables, boats, and es in abundance, and a considerable number of ships some laden and some not, which this creature ha swallowed. Every thing was transacted by torch- light; no sun, no moon, no planet, to make observa- tions from. We were ali generally afloat and aground twice a-day: whenever he drank, it became hich water with us; and when he evacuated, we found ourselves ound: upon a moderate computation, he took in more water at a single draught than is generally to be found in the Lake of Geneva, though that is above thirty miles in circumference. On the second day of our confinement in these regions of darkness, I ventured at low water, as we cer:led it, when the ship was aground, to ramble with vhe sa 4 tain, and a few of the other officers, with lights our hands; we met with people of all nations, to the amount of upward of ten thousand; they were gO- ing to hold a council how to recover their liberty; some of them having lived in this animal’s stomach several years; there were several children here who had never seen the world, their mothers having lain in repeatedly in this warm situation. Just as the chairman was going to inform us of the business upon which we were assembled, this plaguy fish be- coming thirsty, drank in his usual manner; the water poured in with such impetuosity, that we were AACE HOOKS (E(O) (E@)