Authentic Science Fiction Monthly No. 53 — page 88: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A PRESENT FROM MARS CALIFORNIA TAPE’S own correspondent on Moon. Lunar Base, Friday—Space- ship Martian landed here safely this morning and will blast for Earth today! All the crew are safe, and the thoughts of everyone on this historic .. . MARS-MEN BACK! MILLIONS CHEER SHIP. _ FOUR SENATORS CHAIR SKIPPER. The star danced. He was music itself, coagulated into hat and cane, a spidery exten- sion of the tune, scattering steps like grass seed, stamping seeds of rhythm with the split-hair reluctance that rises out ofcompetenceinto miracle. He lifted the music roofward on patent leather, poised him- selfin interminable half-second silences. The brass rose; he was not weightless, after all— his centre of gravity (some- where between top hat and tails) proclaimed the music; his weight was the music’s— his body’s weight, that is, and the weight of the small and squidgy head, with its crushed- in cockiness, like a ‘gamin deeply sunk in a sophistication utterly professional. But something was wrong. He hesitated. The crescendo wavered and finished self- * 87 consciously in a honk. For there, in the very height and ecstacy of the number, he had scratched with his fingers at his own ribs—not with a wholly apelike unconcern, but uncontrollably and with blush- faced seriousness. A white glove dropped into the or- chestra pit... ARE YOU SWEET? The Sweeter You Are The Better They Like You. Try BRIMSTONE’S BALSAM for those angry bites today! “Well, sir, what did you think of the ball game? Why, sure. Always two schools of thought about the Semesters. Guess you can count on them to fight to the last spectator. “Little woman sure did appreciate that autograph pic- ture. Thanks a lot. We seen your show three times. “A little thin on top, sir. Try Grasso. Nothing like a good growth for making young looks. See there, it’s sponsored by one of them spaceship guys —it’s on the bottle. “Been on vacation yet, sir? Why, yes—Florida. Guess I'll try Vermont myself. Fault with Vermont, the weather’s fickle. Only one thing less conmicloooks.conn