Authentic Science Fiction Monthly, No. 51 — page 94: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JEAN—GENE—JEANNE argued. “I’ve got a couple of years ahead of me. Properly handled, they’ll stay fresh to the end.” Very soon all feeling of strangeness at his own appear- ance went. After six months he found it hard to recollect what he looked like before he left Earth. Towards the end of the two years it was even harder. *““But—that doesn’t mean that I’ve gone crazy,” he argued. He was sitting at the con- trols. Normally he did not bother. A major hazard could be sighted weeks ahead. As to anything else, he had settled that in his mind before he took off. To hell with it. The loneliness would be bad enough without getting jittery over the possibility of being holed by any chance, stray, malignant meteorite. “Except, except that the loneliness doesn’t bother me as much as it might do. Why?” Was that because he did not feel that he had anything in common with his own kind? Except in his dreams, and these, too, were oriented dif- ferently now. Not completely, 93 but the balance had shifted. Further, he no longer shaved, no longer needed to shave. “*That’s the mental approach,” he judged. “I’ve come to think like a woman, I suppose. Must have some somatic effect,” How great an effect he had not realised before. But now, as he looked idly at the star he was nearing, and which he would presently set the con- trols to avoid, he swallowed. The star was different. It was not Earth, but it was not unlike Earth. A sudden, violent, intense desire to land swept over him, and his hands twitched on the instrument panel. “But, if I do, then what? I couldn’t live on it.” *““Why not? You won't go on living in the ship when the supplies are gone.” “T won’t want to.”’ ““Won't want to live? do.want to live.” “Do 1?” Yes! That was true. He did want to live, in spite of his expectance of death, in spite of everything. Could this star support life? Space wouldn’t, once his supplies were finished. And You comiclooks.cormn