Argosy All-Story Weekly, November 13, 1920 — page 141: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A JOB FOR MR. FINNEY. .“* Don’t you pay no attention to him,’ says Jake to Daisy. ‘He’s mad jealous be- cause I’m cutting him out. That’s why he told you them lies about me.’ ““* Lies, nothing!’ says Pharaoh. “*Oh, they was lies, was they ?’ says Daisy. ‘““* Black as ink,’ says Jake. ‘ Lemme come in and [’ll prove it! When you marry, Miss Spiffel, you. want to marry a gentle- man.’ ““Ts that so, Mr. Finney!’ says. she. ‘Then what are you hanging around for?’ After which she slammed the door in his face. ‘““ Now you would have thought, Pharaoh says to me when Daisy done that, that Jake would have give up and gone away. And Pharaoh was so sure he would he just leant against the fence and commenced to cackle about it. But, no, Pharaoh told me, that wasn’t Jake Finney’s way of work- ing things. When he couldn’t see Daisy at the front door, he just went around to the back, Pharaoh a-trailing after him and explaining to him what a fool he was. And there, setting on the steps in the moonlight, with the bull alongside of her, was Daisy, eating up the box of candy. ‘‘ Down sets Jake on the other side of her. ‘ Daisy,’ says he, helping hisself to about fifty cents’ worth of the candy, ‘ you ain’t going’ to stay mad, are you? You really don’t think I’m after your money, do your Why, if I thought tat, I'd get mad myself.’ “<< Well,’ says she, ‘ what are you after then? Me?’ “«<« Sure,’ says Jake, trying to take all he could of her in his arms. ‘ You, and every bit of you!’ ‘““¢ Dear me,’ says Daisy, jerking herself loose, ‘I don’t know what to think. Pharaoh told me the same thing.’ “* And I meant it, too,’ put in Pharaoh, walking up and down in front of ’em like a bear in a pit. — don’t. He’s a liar just like I told you.’ “¢ You shut your head, Pharaoh Fanos? snarled Jake, ‘ or I'll knock it off.’ “Vou try it,’ says Pharaoh, doubling up his fists. ‘ You think because you been in the army you can lick anything.’ “JT can lick anything like you,’ says 419 Jake, jumping up and squaring away at him. ‘ Miss Spiffel,’ he says, turning to Daisy, ‘ if I lick him will you marry me?’ ce ¢ Oh,’ than ever, ‘ why, I—I don’t know. I never had gentlemen fight over me before.’ ““That’s all right,’ says Jake, ‘ but will your And to be fair, if he licks me, you can marry him.’ : ““Oh, she can, can she?’ sneered Pharaoh. ‘Well, you needn’t worry your- self about that, Mr. Finney. When this here affair is over there won’t be no one left to marry but me.’ “@ Whereupon he hit Jake Finney on the nos. as hard as he could, and the next minute you couldn’t see nothing but arms and legs going around and around, while Daisy set on the steps giving little screams and holding on to the bull to keep him from joining in. ‘Well, if you’d ’a’ been there, Jake says, you sure would ’a’ bet on him; for though he was shorter than Pharaoh, he was in prime shape from his army life. But if you'd ’a’ bet on him, he says, you’d ’a’ lost, for just as him and Pharaoh got in among the bushes, what did he do but stumble over something and go over back- _ward, which surprised him as much as any- body. And the next minute Pharaoh was setting on his chest pounding his face like a trip-hammer. And after a spell of that treatment, he says, he just had to give up and yell he’d had enough. ““ There,’ says Pharaoh, getting up and going over to Daisy, ‘ didn’t I tell you I could lick him?’ ‘ Daisy looked at him as he an before her trying to get his left eye open. Then she looked over to where Jake was setting among the bushes trying to make his nose stop bleeding. She didn’t say nothing, Jake says, but from the look on her face he could tell plain she was sorry he’d got the worst of it. “* Youll marry me now, Daisy, won’t you?’ says Pharaoh, pulling out the ring she’d give him back. ‘ Here, hold out your finger.’ » “And Daisy, after hesitating a minute, let him put it on. “Then out come old man Spiffel with “\ (E() says Daisy, eating candy faster - 200 Ss (E(0) NIG ie