Argosy, Vol. 123, No. 2 — page 117: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MONEY joyed by the members of the new lodge, there were others of a rather commonplace but nevertheless delightful nature. Chief among these was the promise of “ re- turns.” The Grand Exalted International Organ- izer had to explain this feature of the lodge to Big Gun in detail. ‘“ Brudder Big Gun,” said the Honorable Cuthbert—“ an’ insodently it ain’t gwine be right to call you jes’ o’dinary brudder, but Brudder King Big Gun, a’ter you jines de new lodge—I gwine esplain ’bout them returns to you, full an’ complete. Whut is meant by returns is this—if’n somethin’ goes ’way an’ comes back again, that’s re- turns. You understan’?”’ Big Gun nodded. The Honorable Cuth- bert Mendenhall continued: “ Well, ev’y dollar that you pays as jues an’ ’vestments in this yeah Kings an’ Queens Order of the Shinin’ Stars of the Milky Way comes back to you fum the head lodge in Atlanta, Jawjy, in jes’ one yeah fum the day you pays “it in, an—” The Grand Exalted paused. “ An’ ’sides that, when it do git back, ev’y dollar has added to it one mo’ dollar which it has picked up in its rounds. That’s whut we calls the returns. Does you git me?” Big Gun nodded. This negro who used “t's”? when Big Gun used “d’s” was doing some rapid going, but Big Gun was keeping along within yelling distance. “I done got you dat fur, Honorable, but dey’s some mo’ whut ain’t jes’ ’zactly plumb plain in mah min’. How do dat one dollah make another dollah in jes’ one yeah?” The Honorable Cuthbert smiled. Ex- planations of this nature were dead easy. “Co’se that’s got to be esplained to you. I done overlooked that as I went along. You see, up theah in-the head lodge us is got a ’vestment ’pahtment. Us throws all the dollars whut comes in, in the ’vestment- room, an’ the ’vesters in there they ’vests them dollars in s’curities which makes the extry dollar.” Big Gun nodded. “I done seed it all plumb plain now. But dey’s sumthin’ else. ‘“ Whut "bout fun’rals an’ benyfits?” The Grand Exalted smiled. He was an easy smiler. Big Gun liked that smile. BALKS. 249 “A ve’y good p’int—a ve’y good p’int to bring up, Brudder Big Gun,’ proclaimed the brown-skinned one. ‘“ You see, fun’rals an’ benyfits is tooken keer of by the in- trus’ on the returns. Y’ see, in addition to the big returns on ’vestments an’ jues, they is. a heavy intrus’. of fun’rals an’ death benyfits—an’—an’— sichlike, includin’ sickness ’mongst the kings an’ queens. Is you done got me good an’ cleah?” Big Gun had him good and clear. understood thoroughly that for every dollar he paid into the lodge he would, at the end of one year, get back that same dol- lar—and another dollar to match it. Pete’s dinky little old Knights and Ladies cf the Guiding Light certainly was a piker! | And then the dirty work had com- menced. The Honorable Cuthbert Men- denhall found would-be members of the WWings and Queens Order of the Shining Stars of the Milky Way flocking to him. The majority of the members of the Knights and Ladies of the Guiding Light announced their intention of deserting the local organization for one that was in- ternational in scope, and which possessed such bright returns and investment fea- tures. And many more, not members of the Knights and Ladies of the Guiding - Light, weré hooked by Cuthbert’s glittering promises. Grand Exalted International Organizer Mendenhall assured ‘his friends that there. was no limit to the amount they might in- vest in the lodge’s ’vestment department. “The mo’ mo’ they is gwine be intrusted in the re- turns. An’ them whut is intrusted in the returns makes the most liveliest mem- bahs.”’ Old Pete had issued a warning to the members of the Knights and Ladies of the Guiding Light hes Cuthbert Menden- hall’s plans first reached his ears. ‘You niggahs is fixin’ to git yo’se’ves all messed up in sumthin’ you ain’t knowin’ nothin’ ’bout,” he told them. ‘ Whut you knows ’bout disyeah strange nig agead fum de States, nohow?” DOOK That takes keer He vesters they is ’mongst the lodge membahs,” declared Cuthbert, “ the - C©@