Argosy, Vol. 123, No. 2 — page 116: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

248 all other optimistic phraseology one an- swer. And that answer was that op- timism in all its forms is a lie and a cheat. Pete was finding the world a howling wilderness, and every crevice loaded and crammed with wo. No prisoner upon whom the death sentence has just been pronounced ever found less in his sur- roundings to cheer him than did this stoop- shouldered old negro who felt that old man Hard Luck had a strangle-hold on him and was surely and pitilessly squeezing out his life. And all this was because a man giving his name as the Honorable Cuthbert Men- denhall had conceived the idea of taking a trip to Honduras, and decided upon Tela in that little republic as the scene of his operations. The Honorable Cuthbert announced himself as an organizer, but Pete had some time. before reached the conclusion that the heavy-built, brown-skinned man was one of the most efficient disorganizers it had ever been his misfortune to come in contact with. The newcomer had quickly ingratiated himself in the good graces of such shining lights of Tela colored society as Big Gun, Goldtooth Cotton, Hoghead Puckett, Ram- bling Sam, Goodtimes Harris, and others of like prominence, by buying freely and often at the railroad saloon. And once well established as a gentleman and sport, the Honorable Cuthbert had made known the important business bringing him to Tela. When this announcement came Tela was left gasping for breath. For the Honorable Cuthbert Mendenhall was none other than the Grand Exalted International Organizer of the Kings and Queens Order of the Shining Stars of the Milky Way. The Honorable Cuthbert’s cheap, street- corner-stand printed business-cards bore proof of this greatness; and if there was any doubt left in the mind of some thick- headed skeptic, the easy spender of ready cash had letter-heads and envelopes, all bearing his name and official position, and each and every time his name appeared THE ARGOSY. that awe-inspiring word Honorable was in front of it. Further, he. had stacks and stacks of the order’s literature—application blanks, charters for subordinate lodges, printed testimonials as to the Honorable Cuthbert’s shining character and uprightness. These and other proofs had he—and all these proofs he presented. At first old Pete only sniffed his disap- proval of this flashily dressed, loud- mouthed negro. rude awakening—a day when Pete feared he had slumbered too long. Aided by Big Gun, Goldtooth Cotton, and others, the Honorable Cuthbert Men- denhall, Grand Exalted International Or- ganizer of the Kings and Queens Order of the Shining Stars of the Milky Way, was _ planning the establishment of a subordinate lodge in Tela. | And if this plan went through it meant the certain death of the Knights and Ladies of the Guiding Light, organized by Pete, and of which he was president and treas- urer. ~ | Several of the American and Jamaica. negroes sojourning temporarily in Tela had long been jealous of the social standing Pete’s position as head of the Knights and Ladies of the Guiding Light gave him. So, when opportunity presented itself to break up his lodge and assist in the establishment of one in which they would shine more brightly and. promiscuously than in one dominated by Pete, they were ready to take full and complete advantage. The Honorable Cuthbert was no piker when it came to boasting the advantages of membership in the Kings and Queens Order of the Shining Stars of the Milky Way. ‘“ Anybody,” proclaimed he, “ would rather be a king or queen than a knight or lady. An’ who cares nothin’ ’bout no guidin’ light nohow? If’n you’s kings an’ queens in a star s’ciety, you ain’t gwine need no light: you gwine be the light yo’- se’f. An’ ev’ybody knows that the Milky Way means a lan’ o’ riches an’ plenty— plenty of good eatin’, plenty of good drink- in’, plenty of fun an’ good times.” Besides all these good things to be en- | comicloool But there came a day of . C@