The Argosy — page 389: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

366 My Saturdays. so, that I would do anything for him, if he- were my brother or my cousin, or it could be done in any way but by marrying him.” ‘““Of course you could not be expected to give up your life to such a task, unless you really loved him.” “You don’t understand,” she said, impatiently. ‘‘ It is not the giving up my life; we must give it up to something or somebody, and it might as well be to Herman as to the schools and the parish; it is the—the—disgracefulness of the thing. You know what he is—poor fellow, there is no denying that he is terribly deformed; nobody would believe that I loved him for himself, and I could not say that I did, in lover’s fashion. And he isso horribly rich; everybody would say that I did it for that; and they would congratulate me to my face, and sneer at me behind my back; and mamma would be so pleased to have me drive up in the carriage with a footman, and papa would never quite understand or believe in me again. I should not have sold myself, but I should feel as if I had. And after all, if one gives the goods, and receives the money, I suppose it is a sale?” ‘The real price paid to you would be the power of filling Herman’s life with sunshine,” I said, foolishly. “Do you think I ought, Mrs. Singleton? Are you persuading me?” “Oh, no; not for worlds,” I cried, terrified. ‘‘ If you could have genuinely loved him, I think I should have felt that it was a beautiful thing ; but such love as his is not to be repaid with mere pity and sisterliness, and sooner or later, he would feel the deficiency, and he would know that you were chafing under the falseness of your position. He is too sensitive not to be conscious of your feelings in any close relation.” ‘Then there seems to be no help for it,” she said, with a sigh; ‘and he must learn to do without even the little that I have been giving him. Oh, poor Herman, poor Herman; why should he be refused everything ?” She sat looking into the fire, while her tears dropped slowly, and mine kept her company ; for what else was there to do, while he lay in fevered misery, tossing between lonely death and lonely life? IV. As soon as I was able to go out, I bent my steps to Alexandra Villa, and was fortunate enough to meet Dr. Carfield at the gate. I asked him how his patient was getting on. ‘He is much easier, and has little pain now; in that sense he is better. But there has been long-dormant mischief, which has now been aroused, and I have great fear for the result. In fact, his con- dition is very serious, and I would not answer for his life from one day to another.” “Is he conscious ? ” (ECOAANICEl OoKe) KS (e (0) m