The Argosy — page 330: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Shrove-Tide in Ireland. ata “Taint none o’ my fault. ’Tis nine of the colleens I asked to marry me to-day; and they refused me.” “The night’s not over yet, man. Can’t ye look about ye still.” This was rather difficult considering the semi-darkness, but to our consternation the speaker pointed out the tallest, who was also the largest of our party. ‘‘ There’s a fine, cliver, strapping young ooman. Maybe she’d have ye, boy.” Before we could escape the other had advanced and tapped the object of their admiration on the shoulder. ‘‘ Come now, my girl, what do you say to our being spliced to-night, afore the Lent ?” he observed coaxingly. The kind old priest had his eye upon our safety, however. He advanced, and leaving the next couple to wait his leisure he ordered the rude clown to move off. ‘An’ now, boys,” he added, calling to all present in stentorian and dictatorial tones: ‘‘ Now, boys, I’ll have none o’ ye building them little walls outside. Remember, when the ladies, and Protestant ladies, honour us with their presence you must treat them as such.” What he here alluded to was an almost unt- versal practice pursued on a marriage night, of putting up obstructions in the road for the wedding couples and guests to fall over and thereby cause laughter. In accordance with his orders we were now conducted with all honour to the bride’s home, and through the outer room, laid with long tables of food, to an inner and grander sanctum, specially prepared for such honourable guests. Piles of potatoes were heaped against the walls, but space for four chairs and a small round table had been left near the doorway. Oranges, lump sugar, and a bottle of bad wine were laid ready for us to partake of and linger over. ‘These viands are the regulation fare for the quality, who, while they sit sucking or crunching the sugar, are supposed to amuse themselves watching the feasting in the room without, where all goes on in a most “ flawhule” style— ‘““Jashins,” or abundance, of very fat pork being the staple- com- modity. And it is not a good feast unless so much is provided that a great deal must be left. To say “there was lashins and lavins” means, therefore, that all things were as they should be at the banquet. When they could all eat no more, the tables were cleared away, and a door was taken off its hinges for the dancing. ‘The smaller the space your feet cover in a jig or a hornpipe the more your skill is praised. Presently an old man made his way through the crowd to our alcove. He had no coat on, but made up the deficiency with three waistcoats, and two hats pressed tight down on his head. He seized and wrung our host’s hand with much fervour. ‘ Faith an’ ’tis yourself I’m glad to see here, and I’d sooner shake hands with your honour than with the finest gintleman in the land, an’ ’tis a wonder entirely to see me here to-night, at all at all. They asked connicloooks (C(O)