Argosy, Vol. 1 (1882) — page 323: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“HIS LORDSHIP.” BY HORACE G. SMITH. An account by the colonel of an experience of his youth going to show that he who laughs last laughs best, and that donkey ears may sometimes belie their possessor’s qualities. “ [F a fellow has any personal peculiar- ities and parades them before his fellow men,” began the colonel, * the Southwest is the worst possible division of the hemisphere for him to go to. You take a gang of the general run of * cow- punchers,’ young fellows from all parts of the United States, most of ’em, with a sprinkling of old rangers who are as keen as they make ’em, and it’s a bad crowd for an eccentric man to round up. ‘“T took to herding like a duck to water,” he went on with a smile, “ and managed to forget most of my college studies and get rid of all the tomfool- ishness of civilization in a wonderfully short time. I was rather given to Mex- ican jackets, big sombreros, and huge spurs, but these eccentricities were looked upon with favor by most of the - boys. “ But none of us could put up with ‘His Lordship.’ That was the nick- name he went by, but whether he had any real title or was connected with any noble house, 1 am not prepared to say. The part of the name he went by around there was Chumley. He didn’t spell it ‘Chumley,’ but in some out- landish way that would have broken the jaws of 3 Pueblo Indian to pro- nounce according to its spelling. ‘The first occasion upon which ‘ His Lordship ’ dawned upon my vision was when I was taking my first few lessons in herding from old Bill McGreggor. We were riding slowly ‘round and ‘round the herd of feeding cattle when ‘His Lordship ’ rode by with a groom, bound on a shooting expedition among the hills. “ T tell you, he was a sight for gods and men. He was dressed in the ap- proved English hunting costume of the day, black stiff hat, leggings and all, and carrying across his saddle a little silver mounted popgun that wouldn't have thrown a ball big enough to kill a prairie dog. ‘The get up of the flunkey, poor fel- low, was quite as wonderful, and in- cluded a brilliant crimson coat. He also carried what the cowboy consid- ered the greatest piece of foolishness of all—‘ His Lordship’s ’’ umbrella. “Fancy an umbrella on horseback. Oh, it was rich! Even the herd horses used to shy at the outfit as it passed. and the boys used to say that one sight of the Englishman and his servant would scare a mountain cat into fits, and that since ‘ His Lordship’s ’ arrival the Apaches hadn’t once crossed the border on a cattle raid. ‘The fellow had slews of money— fairly swatted it around. He had pur- chased a small ranch next to my uncle's and had hired a good man to run it, showing that he had sense in one direc- tion at least, for he never bothered his Overseer by trying to understand the business of cattle raising, being con- tented to handle the profits without questioning foc they were obtained. ‘“ His ranch house was quite near the town and was furnished in a style which would have made a New York million- aire envious, Chumley having had all the things brought overland from Gal- veston. : He was alone, except’ for several servants who were ‘kept up’ in the most approved English manner, and COMIC DOCS CO