The Argosy — page 215: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Recollections of a Governess. 199 ‘‘ Helen, dear,” I said, ‘“‘ you were at liberty to refuse, but you might have done so with common civility.” ‘J can’t, dear auntie,” she answered—she always called me auntie— * I can’t be civil tothat man. I feel up in arms against him. He always rubs me the wrong way, and then, dear, I’m like a cat, and I can’t purr.” “Pride, Helen, only pride. I wish you could be more gentle. A meek and quiet spirit, my child, is of great price.” She gave me a kiss, and then, turning to Coonach, she lifted up the long, silky hair from his eyes, and said, ‘“‘ My doggie, she’s been scold- ingme ; I am gentle enough with you, and always will be, but I cannot be like a lamb ; I was not born with one of those sweet tempers, and I cannot help it. I might as well be scolded for having black hair instead of red, mightn’t I ?” ‘‘ Helen dear, that’s nonsense ; and, what is worse, it is wrong.” Edward came back from the Manor House very much put out with his sister. ‘‘ Crayford said he was sorry you were afraid to m ount Grey Surrey,” he said. “¢ Afraid |!” she repeated, scornfully— afraid /” “Well, I had to say something ; for what excuse could I give? But from his face I don’t think he believed me.” I knew Helen was vexed with herself and Edward and Mr. Crayford and every one, for we walked half over the pansh before she recovered, and then the subject was never referred to again. I often wonder how much my child thinks of that parting under the old cherry tree. I fancy I see a great difference ; she is older in many ways. Poor Sir William gets weaker, and so little irritates him ; and dear Lady Dacre has so much to distress her that “careful and. troubled about many things ” may truly be said of her. October 20.—Edward’s regiment is a very expensive one. I am sure he asks for more help than Sir William can afford. Lady Dacre looks quite careworn. I was searching for a book in the morning-room when Sir William said, “‘ My dear, must you have that cheque for Miss Vincent to-day?” And Lady Dacre answered, not seeing me, “I really must ; it is overdue some time.” “ I could not take it, dear Lady Dacre,” I said. ‘ Please do not think of it ; not till quite convenient to Sir William. I want nothing. Helen is grown up; I am no longer required for teaching ; but I could not leave you. Only give mea home and let me stay as long as I can be of any use to you and her.” Lady Dacre kissed me, and said she could not allow it, but I feel happier. I have no friends depending on me, and I love them too well to leave them now that they are not so prosperous as in former years. January 5, 1837. — Three months and I have written , nothing. Nothing pleasant to write about. I look with dread°on’Mr. Crayford’s ECOMicoOOKS.CoOm —_)