The Argosy, June 1904 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TO RENT—FURNISHED. Instead of being a well-appointed boudoir, however, the room was found to contain only a crippled sewing ma- chine, some discarded furniture, and a large flowered dressing gown, which Mrs. Wonderman at once pronounced to be the property of “ Uncle” Merridew. Their landlord’s misleading state- ment was therefore ascribed to a dry humor for which neither of the young pair had given him credit. The neighbors learned, through the medium of one of the two smart serv- ants whom Mrs. Wonderman had in- stalled, that Mr. Merridew had decided at the last moment to rent his house, and as he was known to be eccentric and impulsive, this sudden change in his plans evoked little comment. The nelehbors did not call, but other pco- ple did, and Mrs. Wonderman was su- premely happy. None of her new acquaintances knew Mr. Merridew, with the exception of one lady, who was much surprised to learn that her hostess considered him one of the kindest and most distin- euished-looking men she had ever seen. She did not pursue the subject, and in the privacy of her family circle ex- pressed some doubt as to Mrs. Wonder- man’s sanity. Encouraged by their social success, the Wondermans decided to give a din- ner party. The furnishings of the dining-room had been remodeled in ae- cordance with Mrs. Wonderman’s idea of the prevailing fashion—* Taking the stiffness out,” she called it, and she was anxious that her friends should have an opportunity of admiring her taste. Among other improvements, the por- trait of Mr. Merridew, whose appear- ance, she said, always gave her the “creeps,” had been removed from its place of honor and ignominiously con- signed to the attic. That dinner party had a most aus- picious beginning. everybody invited accepted, and nobody arrived late. Mrs. Wonderman, radiant in a new dress, felt that she was looking her best, and Mr. Wonderman surprised himself by tne easy flow of his conversation. The dinner was well cooked, and there were no embarrassing waits between courses, PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG Connie 489 The smart waiting maid had just re- moved the birds, and Mr. Wonderman was secretly telegraphing his congratu- lations to his wife, when he was star- tled to see the answering smile fade from her lips, her eyes dilate, and her features congeal in a look of horror. At the same time he became aware that the united gaze of his guests was con- centrated on a point just behind his chair. Turning hastily to ascertain the cause of this phenomenon, he found himselt confronted by an elderly man of mas- sive build, with a broad face heavily charged with blood, @ fringe of gray whisker that fairly bristled, and small eyes, gleaming with a ferocity which the unhappy host attributed to mental affliction. There was no mistaking those fea- tures or those eyes. Uncle Merridew had turned up, and, worst of all, he was evidently a homicidal maniac. Mr. Wonderman’s senses reeled un- der the shock of this apparition, but he instinctively rose to his feet, preferring to meet an onslaught in a standing rather than in a sitting DOS, lis feelings were much akin to those of a novice in the art of animal train- ing on first entering the den of a fero- cious beast, an illusion which was heightened by a movement of Uncle Merridew’s lips, suggestive of gnashing of teeth, and an overture of rasping gasps, which the intruder was emitting ina desperate endeavor to control his voice. Wartly watching his foe, Mr. Won- derman heard behind him the rustle of a skirt and his wife’s voice at his ear. “Tiumor him as long as you can,” she whispered, “while ‘T ring up the police station.” She darted from the room, and her husband, with a sigh of relief, heard the telephone bell ringing excitedly. “Wot you—won't you sit down and join us?” he asked diffidently. Mr. Merridew, who had just sueceed- ed in gaining his breath, suffered a re- lapse, and it was only after a hard strugele that he found his voice. “What the devil are you here?” he roared. “Doing here?” echoed Mr. Wonder- doing NOO <SriGOlin ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED rr