Argosy All-Story Weekly — page 164: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

794 “Norris, eh,” T says. a regular big leaguer!” “If I was to tell you what I’m paying him,” groans Mannie, “why, you’d think he was Baby Ruth! So you still got this director idea in your head, hey?” “ Well,” I says, “ you might say the wife has still got it in my head.” “Take my advice,’ advises Mannie. “Forget. it.” - “You ain’t talking to me,” I told him. ‘““What I mean, this is a matter which is absolutely beyond my control,” Which was letting it off easy, if you could of heard the manner in which the partner of my joys and sorrows receives the news that I am still a mere camera man. She was fit to be tied, and that’s the truth! Also I’m here to say that from thence for- ward, why, the constant help and encour- agement which I get from the little woman makes the Yale cheering section at a Har- vard game look like it was laying down on the team! Happy days, what I mean! Well, Mr. Percival Norris reports for duty a coupla weeks later. The first close-up I get of Percival reveals an undersized little shrimp with a French pastry complexion, wearing his hai-, collar and necktie in the well known Byronic manner, and likewise an air of great abstraction, like as if his mind was continually dwelling on some burning question of the day, like, for in- stance: Shall We or Shall We Not Join the League of Nations, or I Wonder Who’s Kissing Her Now, or matters of that sort. Physically speaking, there was positively nothing worthy of note about Percival ex- cept his eyes, which was exceedingly large and wild looking. It looked like Percival was no doubt of a very imaginative nature, which was doubt- Jessly the reason for his great success as a director. Imaginative? Well, I hope to tell you! For instance, one day all by luck and chance I happened to overhear a conver- sation which took place between Percival and a couple of birds who was perfect strangers to me. Friends of Percival’s no doubt. They looked like a coupila tired business men. « Why, that boy’s ARGOSY-ALLSTORY WEEKLY, The incident took place at the Café de Boulevard, which is situated near the Eck- stein studio. i was sitting at a near-by table. Percival didn’t see me. So, anyway, after a while the conversa- tion swung round to big game hunting. So one of Percival’s acquaintances relates the thrilling story of his adventures while in Western Alaska hunting what he calls Kodiak bears—I guess he must of meant Kodak. Anyway, he says these Kodiak bears is positively the world’s largest bears. Well, you can search me. Personally I lost no bears, big or little. So one day this baby is out hunting these mammoth brutes, as you might say, when, you can believe him or not, all of a sudden he flushes a covey nuribering no less than four of them! Well, three of them almost immediately bites the dust, but the fourth one is merely wounded and instantly charges—only to be brought down at the intrepid hunter’s very feet! Hot dog! But listen. No later than the following day, Percival relates this same story to me word for word, you might almost say, changing merely a few names and dates and adding merely one bear, and with no other than himself in the part of the intrepid sportsman! ‘“There’s a man -l’d like to have hear that story,” I told him. “A red-blooded adventurer like yourself.” “ Friend of yours?” asks Percival. “Not exactly,” I says. ‘‘ Doc Cook.” But he didn’t get me. Not much later I accidently listened in on Percival recounting to our leading comedian a little thing which once happened to myself when working on location in the wilds of New Jersey, and which I had re- lated to Percival a day or so before. And once more, of course, Percival was the hero of the tale. In fact, and to make a long story short, it took me maybe an even month to make absolutely certain of the fact that Mr. Percival Norris was by all odds the most magnificent and positively convincing liar with which I had ever come in contact— and I got-a large acquaintance amongst publicity agents, and the like. Eomichooks (S@)