Amazing Stories, August 1927 — page 82: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

496 that kind of thing always gets me. I have a lot of respect for mathematics and engineering, though I know nothing about them. I told him I would immediately go and see those friends. ie was the following Tuesday that they were all assembled. I still had a black eye, received when Smith, the first one I tried, threw me out of his house, but such was my enthusiasm that I had managed to convince even him by ignoring his brutal attack, and he was present. So was Hicks’ uncle Jeremiah, looking as sour ag ever, and my aunt Eulalia, There was Irvine and Mrs. Smith and there were, besides, Professor Dinker and his fiancée, Miss Peak, a prim person somewhat ad- vanced beyond mere youth, with glasses, a pointed red nose in a pale face, and opinions of her own. And there was Hicks and myself. We had all gone through the living room and had seen what I had described, and now we were in the kitchen and the inventor was talking—as usual. “This is something still new to you, my dear O’Keefe,” Hicks was saying. “This is the Auto- matie Shoe Shining Stand. By pushing this but- ton, this trap door drops, revealing, as you will note, a foot rest such as is commonly used on shoe shiners’ stands, except that this is about a foot from the floor. If now, Professor,” Hicks said, waving his hand toward the man of science, “you will be kind enough to place your foot upon this rest, you will all see that first this padded arm takes hold of it, clamping, as it were, over the in- step to hold the foot securely down. You will note that the machine works for exactly three minutes and then lets go. This works automatically, you know, and you will yourselves be able to watch the process without my telling you.” We watched and we saw a hook-like arm, hinged at its back end, describe a semi-circle, almost ca- ressingly taking hold of the Professor’s foot and gently but firmly holding it down. Next, two coarse brushes started to work lengthwise of the shoe, removing any dirt there was along the soles —if there was any. These brushes were fastened to a sort of small truck which ran back and forth on a pair of rails straddling the footrest, and when they suddenly withdrew, they were followed by two black polishing brushes running the same way, with a third brush issuing from the side and polishing the top of the shoes. They moved at great speed, and they worked two or three minutes, when they suddenly slid back, the clamp opened, and the Pro- fessor’s foot, with shoe polished to mirror-shine, was released, Everybody murmured his astonish- ment. “How ever do those brushes get any blacking?” asked the practical Mrs. Smith. “A very natural question, Madam, and one which is very pertinent,” responded the inventor. “The solution is as simple as it is efficient. In passing out, each brush must pass over a roll upon which blacking is distributed by another roll in very much the same way that the ink is distributed in a printing press. So that part of the inven- tion,” he added modestly, “cannot be termed my — I? * Ey AMAZING STORIES “To think of all those things that you have shown us this morning. You call this an invention—why it’s dozens of inventions. Oh, wouldn't I love to live in this apartment!” she said. “Well, now,” interposed Irvine, “do you think, Hicks, that all that machinery is going to work? Isn’t something apt to go wrong? That thing that held the Professor’s foot down, for instance. You say it don’t let go for three minutes. But some- thing might happen and you might want to get away before then, say in three seconds. Supposing there was a fire, then what? I am still waiting to see the rest of your apartment, but off-hand this strikes me as something to be considered.” People who must take the cheer out of life are an abomination to me. I would have liked to have told Irvine so. Couldn’t the fellow see how won- derful it all was? But I could have saved myself ‘the worry, for Hicks had the answer ready. “A natural thought, Irvine,” he smiled. ‘When I said that the arm would not let loose under three minutes, what I meant was, of course, unless it were released before by pressing the release but- ton right under the starting button, just as you turn an electric light off after it has been turned on. Three minutes ig merely the time required for a perfect shine and to insure the best results. The time-limit device is installed but merely as an aid to the user, not as its master.” RVINE looked a little abashed at this natural explanation. “I may as well state now,” said the inventor, “that this time I have left nothing out. I built a special device which automatically operated the various mechanisms, turning them on and off, and reversing them hundreds of times a day, to insure that every part worked as it should. Also, I operated the Various machines at a number of speeds, The dish washer, the sweeper, the shoe shiner, and all other devices are, in fact, still hooked up so that they can be run at up to three times their present operating speed, which was chosen by me as the ideal because the most efficient. But deeds are greater than words and, therefore, let us now, after this little sample of work of the Fully Automatic Apartment, proceed with a practical demonstration of the larger features. Let me turn on this switch.” He did, and then opened a large box containing a powdery substance. “Knowing is believing, and to make my demonstration convincing, I have here what is called fuller’s earth. It is a light, dusty substance, and it could very properly be classed as dirt. I have explained the action of the ceiling to you. Let us now see what becomes of this earth which I shall fling into the air.’ With this he reached into the box and scattered a handful in screamed, while even the prim Miss Peak lost sud- the air. Everybody dodged and Mrs. denly some of her composure as she saw the thick __ cloud of white dirt starting into the air. But, as if by magic, the cloud rose and instantly disap- ok handful after hand sae : it aboy