Amazing Stories, Vol. 2, No. 1 — page 57: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

og . 3 a re . 56 Mr. Smith called it, there was set forth an impos- ing and delectable array of dishes. On the top table there were dishes full of salads, gravies, vege- tables, and similar preparations; on the outside, and on the inside, cakes, pies, tarts, and innumer- able other delicacies. On the one below there were courses of fish, meat, game, oysters, in the front: rank, and behind these there were dishes filled with wild and domestic fowl, chicken, duck, turkey and ten other kinds of juicy meat. In short, if there ever was a table set full-of rich and racy things to eat, it was this table that was before us now. The inventor concluded his discourse: “And be- sides saving time and trouble, this invention abso- lutely does away with the annoyance of a waiter. I have not had time to complete entirely the Hicks’ Automatic Rubber Compartment Dish Remover, which takes away the dirty dishes, carrying them to the Hicks’ Automatic Dish Washing Machine, which I shall erect in the kitchen. However, I shall ask you to simply slide the dishes into the slot back of them. There is ample space provided to hold the dishes accumulated during one meal.” Here he called our attention to an opening about three inches deep in the table back of our plates, which went on a gentle incline toward the center of it. He slid a dish down this incline. It disap- peared without a noise. “Rubber mats,” he ex- plained, with a pleased smile. “One of them drops on each dish as it slides into place, and the next dish lands on a rubber mat. Cups go into a special compartment.” “So sure was I of the workability of my inven- tion,” resumed the inventor after a brief pause, “that I dismissed even the cook ten minutes ago. There is no cook in the kitchen, no waiter in the dining-room, there is not a servant about. There is no need. We shall be served to the King’s taste, Ladies and Gentlemen, by the Hicks’ Self-Serving Dining-Table.” Trouble Begins with the Tomato Soup HE company was silent. For a while we sat dumfounded, awed by this man’s mighty mind. Then, however, appetite and curiosity to see the table working got the better of us. The first course was to be soup. “If each one of you will please pass this spout on to his neighbor you will see with what rapidity a dish otherwise so hard to handle will be served by my invention.” He passed the spout marked “Tomato Soup” to Uncle Jeremiah. The latter turned the quick- action stop-cock. The liquid struck the far incline of his soup-plate. It was under two hundred Ibs. pressure to the square inch. There is a natural law that the angle of incidence ' is equal to the angle of reflection. That law has never been known to fail of working. The tomato- soup, therefore, issued from the plate, in a broad streak, at the identical angle at which it hit the plate. Uncle Jeremiah’s countenance was in line with that angle. In two seconds he was painted, painted like a Red Indian in front of a cigar-store; painted, with not an inch left out. The company gasped, Augustus Hicks grew pale, ‘ 7 e "sem, a ue bg «AR ‘ “aah », sex , a ' es - a ite a dt 3 : . ~~ AMAZING STORIES ——y = eS a = . he Oye BAe ; > ‘ _ K or ek a we a Oe for though he was his uncle’s only nephew, he was afraid. For ten seconds McQuincey was unable to speak, and his nephew swiftly took advantage of this brief period to conduct him speedily out of the room. I was later informed that the profanity issuing from Uncle Jeremiah was appalling, but the bathroom swallowed it up. Hicks must have worked with the speed of desperation, for in ten minutes he reappeared with his uncle, freed from the dis- figuring tomato-soup, but looking daggers alter- nately at his nephew and “the contraption,” as he called it. The inventor excused himself, saying that he was sorry he had not warned the company that the liquids were under such high pressure, and told them to open the stop-cocks by degrees. This being ob- served, the plates were filled swiftly and easily, and the meal started. The soup finished, the plates were slid down into the conveyor compartment. It worked like a clock. | Each person then helped himself to a fresh plate from four piles on the table, and Hicks asked Aunt Zelinda to be the first one to help herself to the fish. This was just opposite her. Aunt Zelinda opened the throttle. The effect was magic. The table suddenly shot round, making fourteen revolu- - tions in ten seconds before even the inventor thought of applying his brake. “Merely a little too much steam,” explained Hicks. “If you will try it again, only moving the lever part way forward and applying the brake as soon as the fish is before you, you will have no trouble.” Aunt Zelinda did, and lo! the fish stopped before : her. Then everybody else helped himself to his portion. A few did not get results the first time, but it was plainly to be seen, as we all agreed, that the Hicks’ Self-Serving Dining-Table certainly did the work. It took a little experience, that was all. As Things Quiet Down Trouble Begins Again | bao tea was served with characteristic speed. It was wonderful how that steam-pressure worked when rightly applied. The plates were pushed into the receiver. They disappeared without a sound. It was remarkable. The next dish, an entrée, was proffered the guests by the servantless table. With phantom swiftness it traveled round, stopping in front of each one, passing on with startling alacrity to the next one. It was marvelous. The enthusiasm grew. Conversation waxed ani- mated. The inventor was congratulated from all sides. Even the sour Uncle Jeremiah warmed up a little at the thought of his nephew’s achievement. In fact, everybody was pleased, gratified and glad. The fowl was finished and the meat course was ready to be served. It fell to Mr. Smith to be the first to start the table going. In his pleased excite- ment he pushed the throttle lever too far. The table instantly was on its swift way, making six © revolutions before the first second was over. The inventor applied the brake. It only checked the speed of the table without bringing it to a stand- still. It was still traveling round at a speed of one hundred and forty revolutions a minute. “Pull back your throttle lever!” cried Hicks. Smith did so, but without result. ; - Ecomicbooks. de® eb a ’ ; Nai a ee b \ a Cveon ) * Ng ge Pn a SO aN | eatin 3 Oe tse a * ~~