Adventure Magazine Cover — page 160: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

158 swellin’ his chest. “We shall not hide our light under a bushel.” “Then you better hide yore carcass be- hind a wood-pile,” says Dirty Shirt. ‘Them three antagonizers didn’t jist ride up here to git-a drink of liquor.” “We are a peaceable aggregation,” says Magpie. “No more shall the war-cry sever, nor the runnin’ rivers be red. Weare about to shed the things that have held us back. Uncivilization must bow to the tread of wisdom. The wheel of progress is turn- in’, and woe unto him who gits under the tire. The people of Piperock have risen in their might, unleashed the bonds which have held them in darkness and are comin’ out into the light of a new day.”’ “And,” says Dirty kinda awed-like,”’ if that ain’t a of a lot to say all in one bunch, I'll eat the garment that made me famous.” Magpie snorts and pilgrims on up the street. In spite of the mighty proclama- tion he emits to us, I notices that he’s got a Six-gun shoved into the waistband of his pants. Me and Dirty stretches out on the two bunks and rolls up a little sleep. } IN THE course of human events some queer things happen. And the queerest thing I can think of is the fact that Jasmine Green- baum came to teach school at Piperock. Jasmine ain’t the kind you’d imagine would take a job like that. She’s plumb decorative, if yuh know what Imean. I ain’t goin’ to describe her, ’cause 1 ain’t got words enough. Her eyes would make a man lift his head when somebody is shootin’ at him. She lives with Wick Smith’s family while she’s teachin’ the young of Piperock to not shoot at each other. Me and Dirty runs into her that evenin’ alter we've been stationary at Buck’s bar for an hour or more. Dirty’s active eye jig- gles convulsive-like for a while, and he seems to be wearin’ about six too many hands. “T’m sure you remember me,”’ says she, smilin’ at us. “Tf I lives to be a million, I won’t for- get,” pants Dirty. “tam Mister Harper,” says I. “And the Harper fambly has the longest memories of any fambly on earth.” “Outside of the Jones’s,” says Dirty. “My old pa could remember before they . ip Seeds 52 the > Tay hy "= : at % Se RS Adventure started puttin’ aces in the decks of cards.” “Memories don’t figure,” says I. ‘“We’re glad to meetcha, Miss Greenbaum. What can I do for yuh, ma’am?” ~ “Same here,” says Dirty, kinda elbowin’ me aside. “T told them that you were always will- ing to do anything for the public good,” says she, smilin’ sweet-like. ‘“‘To whom did yoo tell this, ma’am?” ] asks, Somehow I kinda gets a hunch that every- thin’ ain’t just right. “Mr. Simpkins, the president of the Chamber of Commerce,” says she. “He and Mr. Smith seemed to think——” “Since when did they start thinkin’?” asks Dirty. ‘‘That shore is a novelty to my ears, ma’am.” ‘Mr. Simpkins is a very brilliant man,” says she. “He has some wonderful ideas.” “With parts missin’,” says I. “Perhaps you do not appreciate what he is doing for Piperock, Mr. Harper,” says she. “I have just come from a meeting of the new Chamber of Commerce, where Mr. Simpkins presided and read us some won- derful plans for the betterment of this town. ‘““As you know we already have the nu- celus of a zoological- garden. Mr. Smith, who is heart and soul in the advancement of Piperock, purchased these three-jungle animals. Our meeting this afternoon was to decide upon a plan to reimburse Mr. Smith: and to acquire the animals for the city. “Next Monday is Labor Day. I have been lead to understand that Piperock has never celebrated Labor Day.” “They’ve sure celebrated everythin’ else,” says Dirty Shirt. “My ——, ma’am, don’t let ’em celebrate.- You don’t know Pipe- rock.” “Tt will be a harmless celebration. [I spoke about having you two gentlemen as- sist, and Mr. Simpkins and Mr. Smith as- sured me that neither of you had any civic pride. They said that both of you were un- civilized; unprogressive and not at all in ac- cord with any movement that would curb your savage tendencies. I’m sure it is prejudice on their part.” » “Yo’re danged right!’ says Dirty. “Them pelicans sure did lie to you in fine shape, ma’am. Piperock don’t mean’ @ whole lot to either one of us, but I’m willin’ to do anythin’ yuh say.” !?? Gomichbooks.com