Adventure Magazine Cover, April 3, 1918 — page 92: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

QO in front of us, and looks us over, sort uh grouchy like. “Howdy, Art,” says Magpie. “What yub doing these days—distributing poul- try?” Art spits over his off-wheeler, and con- siders the busted crate. “Did yuh see what comes in that there box?” he asks, and we nods. ‘Did ye ever hear it crow?” We all shakes our heads, and Art puts his hat on the brake lever and fumbles for his tobacco. “Sounds like ——!”’ he snorts. ‘We was going along, sleepy like, when it crows. Runaway. Lost the crate out the wagon.” “Uh-huh,” agrees Magpie. ‘Crate busted and canary flew.” “Canary!” Art spits out the word like he’d pulled uh slug from his old pipe. “Magpie Simpkins, you can get the dang- dest things sent to you. What yuh going to use that thing for?’ “Art,” says Chuck, chiding like, “you neglected your duty as uh stage-driver when yuh let that piece uh valuable freight get away.” “Well, go ahead and say it,” replies Art, resigned like. “Can you forget that you ever had that bird in your care?” asks Chuck. ‘“Audibly or mentally, Chuck?” asks Art. “Audibly.” “T hope to some day.” “Be worth uh five spot, and no questions asked, Art.”’ “T never seen it,’’ states Art. the idea?” “You fellers are as inquisitive as an old maid,” replies Chuck. “All I asks is silence, and plenty of that. Ill pay the bills.” “We're as silent as the tomb, eh, Mag- pie?” says Art. “You ain’t got nothing against me.”’ “Nothing but admiration, Art. Chuck, do what you please with that hooch-hen, and we'll goon to town. I don’t sabe your play, young feller, but I’m for it all the way from the ace to the deuce.” We got our stuff at Piperock, and pilgrims right back home. The crate and bird are gone when we returns. “T wish I knowed what Chuck aims to do?” says Magpie, as we goes past the spot. “And bust up our chances to get back that two hundred,” says I. “If you didn’t “What’s gone. Adventure hunger and thirst for information so hard, Magpie, I’d be living uh life uh ease right now. You always wants to monkey with the wheels uh progress.” ABOUT five days later ‘Scenery’ Sims and “Dirty Shirt” Jones pil- grims up our way and stops to eat. They asks the usual questions and gets an- swered. “Magpie, did yuh ever see uh railami?” asks Dirty Shirt. : “Uh-uh which?” “Uh railami. Didn’t yuh ever hear of one?” “Oh, yes. I used to raise ’em.” }?? “You did not squeaks Scenery ‘“‘There’s only one specimen left on earth today. Saber” “Meaning you, I reckon, Scenery,” says I. ‘“You’re the only specimen I ever seen that might fit that cognomen.” “No, not me!” snaps Scenery. “If yuh don’t know and recognize one when yuh see it, maybe you’ll wish yuh did.” There ain’t much left to say, except un- pleasant things, so they says ‘‘Klahowya”’ and departs. “Railami,” says Magpie, after they’re “Never heard the name _ before. The way Scenery pronounces it makes it sound like uh hare-lipped Piegan with hay fever trying to make uh noise like uh blowsnake.” “Tt can’t be uh serious condition,’ I re- plies. “It sure can’t amount to much if Scenery and Dirty Shirt knows what it is, so I ain’t worrying about it none, Magpie.” The next day bringeth forth “Half Mile” smith and “Tellurium” Woods. They rides in and partakes of bacon and beans. “What you fellers doing up this way?” asks Magpie. “Seems like me and Ike is being honored lately. Scenery and Dirty Shirt was up to see us yesterday.”’ “Crazy as bedbugs, too,” says I. “They was looking for—say, Magpie, what was that word?” “Railami.” Half, Mile and Tellurium looks foolish ’ like at each other and then back at us. “You know what it is?” asks Tellurium, but me and Magpie has to plead total ignorance. “You looking for it, too, Tellurium?” I asks. COnniclooo S (C@