Adventure Magazine, Mid-September 1917 — page 75: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Wild and Woolly ‘“‘Then give me the sporting pages out of today’s papers.” She shook her head and again that dis- tressed look, crossed her face. “You must forget baseball. Oh, my goodness, won’t you forget baseball for a while?” she begged in a tone considerably louder than she had used hitherto in this sick-room. ‘‘You are in no condition to think about anything but getting well.” Jonesy frowned like a spoiled child, settled back on the bed more comfortably and closed his eyes. Presently he began to babble wildly and the nurse, plainly alarmed, started across the room toward a row of electric buttons. “Hey, don’t ring,”’ she heard a voice beg weakly behind her—and looking around she saw Jonesy grinning from the depths of his pillows. “I was just havin’ a little fun, Miss Powell,” he said, grinning yet more gener- ously. ‘You see you won’t let me do any- thing to amuse myself and I have to makc: my own amusements. But I didn’t mean any harm. You—well, you’re such a kid and you’re so green at this nurse business.” He contemplated her a moment. “Say, I wonder how the Sam Patch they happened to put you on my case, anyhow. When a fellow’s bad off as I am I’d think they’d give him an experienced nurse.” She flushed and turned her face. Jonesy thought he could see a shimmering film overspreading her eyes. “‘They did put an experienced nurse on this case at first,’ she replied with chin aquiver, “but you didn’t want her. Dr. Hansen said you—you asked them to give it to me.” There was long silence. “Yes, I did,” said Jonesy slowly and with seeming effort. “I didn’t like the looks of that old auk they sent in here and—aruh—I told the doc that you looked human any- how. So he had ’em make the change.”’ Miss Powell shrugged as if offended. “Human! Well, I’m glad at least that I - look human, Mr. Jones.” There was a chorus of yells from the ball park. Jonesy’s neck straightened, his head cocked and he went up on his elbow. *“McGinnis did that,’’ he said excitedly. ‘“‘That’s the way they always yell when he lands on it.” The yelling had barely died down before the great chorus broke forth again. 73 “Butler hit it, too,” he said in a louder voice; and as the cheering continued Jonesy tried to get up in bed. “Oh, you Butler! Oh, you McGinnis!” his weak voice husked. musta TE FELL back upon the bed as ( YF the door-knob wabbled and when : Miss Evans, the head nurse, stood over him he was babbling a rare mixture of gibberish and English with both eyes closed. “How long has he been this way? Why didn’t you report?” demanded the head nurse, as she turned and faced Miss Powell. “I have noted no change. ‘The record has been kept up. This talking,” said Miss Powell, “‘is all put on.” ‘Put on, nothing,” snapped Miss Evans. ‘““Haven’t I seen enough delirium to be able to recognize it. And as she applied the arts of her profession for Jonesy’s relief he con- tinued to jabber, raving especially about the hospital, the poor broth they served and fragments of hospital scandal. The head nurse was more worried about what he was saying than about his condition. She sat at the side of the bed unnecessarily long, listening—trying to piece together bits of terrible information this man seemed to possess and frowning when Jonesy’s seemingly unguided tongue roamed over roads that she herself had traveled. He rolled his head under her arm, opened his eyes and slyly winked at Miss Powell. Then he rolled his head back to its former resting-place and stared into the head nurse’s face. ‘There, young lady, what did I tell you,” exclaimed Miss Evans triumphantly. She turned to Jonesy. “How do you feel?” she asked. ‘“‘Like what was left,” he replied in a half whisper as if he were right then hallooing on Jordan’s ferry-docks. She addressed Miss Powell. “His doctor will be here in an hour. Meantime watch him closely. We really should have a graduate in this room. I’ve a mind to send up Miss Simpson——” Jonesy turned his back on the pearly gates and wallowed to a sitting position. ‘Say you—don’t you think of sending that pelican up here again. I’m payin’ for this, I keep tellin’ you, an’ I paid in ad- vance for this nurse an’ this room. Now, if you want to start somethin’ I’ll sue the | bloomin’ hospital. Besides, I know a few things to blab about that’d make some COmicloo (©