Adventure, August 1917 — page 165: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Bearly Reasonable “Ike, yuh ought to be careful about Abe,” sez he. “There wa’n’t no sense in gittin’ him all excited thataway. Mebby he’ll have uh relapse, and I ain’t got uh liver pill left. He’s uh sick animile.” “Th’ —— he is!” sez I. “He tore my ants off, and almost clears th’ cabin in one jump, so I don’t reckon he’s so danged bad off. We got female folks at our house, so I reckon yuh better loan me uh pair uh pants to go home in, Mighty.” He ain’t got nothin’ but uh pair uh over- alls, which don’t meet by six inches at th’ ‘waist and lingers jist below th’ knee, but I puts ’emon. We ties th’ badger to uh pole, which me and Magpie packs, and Mighty leads Abe and his bellyache with uh rope. Big Foot’s prospect ain’t been worked fer so long that it’s all grown up ag’in and looks like uh natcheral cave. ‘“‘Here’s th’ idea,” states Magpie. ‘“‘We’ll put th’ bear and badger in th’ ol’ tunnel. Then we'll git th’ perfessor and his outfit to come over and see us separate them. We'll keep that alleged cub over to th’ cabin long enough to satisfy th’ perferssor. Sabe?”’ ‘You got another think comin’ if you thinks that Abe and that ol’ badger is goin’ to hibernate peaceful like in that hole while yu goes over to head th’ peerade,”’ objects Mighty. “Since Ike stirred ’em up that- away, Abe ain’t acted noways friendly to- ward th’ badger, and said badger ain’t got no love fer nobody after ridin’ upside down on uh pole fer two miles. How am I goin’ to know how Abie’s bellyache is, all this time. I can’t stay with him.” “Do you think I’m goin’ to lose all that money jist because there ain’t no love lost between two dumb brutes?” snorts Magpie. ‘“‘Big Foot must uh been afraid that some- body was goin’ to invade his ol’ prospect when he built that door at th’ entrance, but he shore simplified things fer us. We'll stick Abe and his imitation cub inside an’ block th’ door. By th’ time we git back they'll be friendly ag’in.” ““Abie’s bellyache—” begins Mighty, but Magpie shuts him up. : “Gosh A’mighty, you gives me uh pain! No wonder that pore bear’s got uh stum- mick ache. You’d give uh wooden Injun th’ pip, Mighty. Mebby if yuh quits givin’ him all them patent medicines he’d be uh heap better bear and last longer. That stuff’s causin’ all his hair to come out. If 163 yuh don’t quit he won’t even make uh de- cent rug.” , Abie goes in plumb willin’ but the’ badger objects. He tries to squeeze out, but twistin’ uh stick in his hide sort-a disgusts him and he retires. Mighty pilgrims off home, and me and Magpie goes back to our cabin. “‘Tke,”’ orates Magpie, ‘‘this is uh cinch. That badger resembles uh li’l bear uh heap, don’t yuh know it? Also, Abie is so shy on hair that nobody could prove whether he’s black, brown or gray. Let’s be glad.” “Lets be glad uh li’l later on,” I suggests. “I’m strong on this here gladsome stuff, Magpie, but this here idea uh countin’ yore scientific experiments before they’re done experimentin’ is uh heap like lightin’ yore last match to see if it’s uh good one before yuh goes to th’ trouble uh makin’ uh cigaret.”’ TH’ PERFESSOR is sunnin’ his- $= self by th’ cabin when we gits back, and th’ doc is fussin’ with uh pho- tygraft apparatus. They welcomes us real heartily, and th’ perfessor is uh heap ex- excited and pleased to know that we’re ready fer th’ experiment. “T hope I can get some good action in a bear picture,” states th’ doc. ‘It will help in provin’ th’ perfessor’s experiments.” That was some pilgrimage. We strings out in single file, with Magpie in th’ lead and th’ perfessor next. We places th’ fe- male next in line, allowin’ considerable space between her and th’ doc, in case she should rear up and fall over backwards on some of th’ steep pitches. Also, fer safety sake I packs th’ doc’s shotgun. When we reaches the alleged bear den we finds Mighty settin’ at th’ door. | ‘‘Abe’s ailin’ ag’in,”’ sez he, solemn like, lookin’ th’ outfit over. “Who is Abe?” asks th’ doc. “His pardner,”’ states Magpie, winkin’ hard at Mighty. ‘He seems to have pains in his stummick most of th’ time.” “Appendicitis,” pronounces ‘““May need an operation.” “Doctor,’”’ sez th’ perfessor, “this is no time to talk of operations. Prepare your camera and try and picture the proceedings.”’ And then he asks Magpie— ‘‘Are you sure that the mother and young are in the cave?” ‘Pore ol’ Abe comes to th’ door and—”’ th’ doc. cComiclsoo © 5}