Adventure, August 1917 — page 164: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

162 “Don’t hit him with that club!” I reckon Mighty must uh been excited to fall fer uh trick as ol’ as that, but he did. He whirls that ol’ gun around, an th’ next thing he knowed, Magpie has him pinned to th’ floor and I’m removin’ the caps off that gun. “Now,” sez Magpie, “‘mebby you'll listen. to reason.” “T will like ——!” snaps Mighty. “Tl listen to what Magpie Simpkins has to say, but I’ll be teetotally danged if I’ll agree that it’s reason.” ‘“‘We comes on uh peaceful mission and meets uh armed force,” states Magpie. ‘“‘If yuh wants visitors to carry uh flag uh truce, why don’t yuh advertise th’ fact, Mighty?” “[ minds my own business,” snorts Mighty. “Go ahead and talk, and I'll listen if it chokes me.”’ Magpie sets on Mighty’s floatin’ ribs, and tells him our troubles. “But my bear ain’t no fe-male and I ain’t got no cub,” protests Mighty. ‘Anyway, ol’ Abe is sick. I reckon he’s gittin’ too blamed ol’. Seems like he don’t harbor nothin’ but uh bellyache, Magpie. I been dopin’ th’ ol’ sinner fer weeks to keep him on his feet. Dog-gone, he’s th’ only friend I got left. I tries to give him uh dose uh castor ile yesterday, and he tore my shirt off and swallers th’ whole bottle. I don’t reckon it’ll do him any good that-away’ do our” “Tf yuh knowed jist what part uh his anatomy it’s reposin’ in yuh might kick him and loosen th’ cork,’ I suggests, but Mighty shakes his head. “It can’t be done, Ike. broke off short.” ‘‘Where is he now?” asks Magpie, risin’ from Mighty’s carcass, and settin’ on th’ bunk. Mighty rubs th’ creases out of his skin, and rolls uh smoke. “He’s up on th’ hill back uh my stable, I reckon. Danged ol’ toothless walloper’s done formed uh friendship with uh badger. Can yuh beat it? Them two sets upthere on uh rock in th’ sun and snoozes all day.”’ “Heavenly dove!’ whoops Magpie, grab- Th’ cork was bin’ Mighty by th’ wishbone. “Do yuh suppose they’re up there now?” “T reckon,” gasps Mighty. “Leggo my neck, dog-gone yuh. What’s there to git excited about?” Adventure “Do yuh reckon we could ketch that badger?” askes Magpie. “YT reckon yuh could. He ain’t uh bit wild. I pretty nigh puts my hands on him yesterday when I goes up to try and feed Abe some liver pills. I leaves some fer th’ badger but I don’t reckon he took ’em.” “Tell yuh what I’ll do,” sez Magpie. “If you'll rent us yore bear and help us take him over to that ol’ tunnel uh Big Foot Smith’s and let us use him fer uh few days I'll give yuh ten dollars. We'll guarantee not to hurt th’ ol’ feller none.”’ “That’s reasonable, Magpie, but I don’t sabe what yuh wants th’ badger fer.” “If we can pass ol’ Abe off as uh fe-male grizzly, I don’t reckon we'll have much trouble in passin’ that badger off fer its cub. Dog-gone it, they look uh heap like uh li'l bear, at that, Mighty.” “How yuh goin’ to ketch him?” I asks. ‘“‘That’s yore chore, Ike. Git ub rope and make good.” Th’ Harper tribe allus was noted fer their gameness. I gits Mighty’s rope and ambles up back of th’ stable. Iseesth’ bear. He’s sunnin’ out there on uh ledge uh rock, and don’t pay no attention to me a-tall. I reckon he’s got troubles of his own which keeps him occupied. I sneaks around be- hind him, and there I sees Mister Badger. He’s shore uh whopper, and he’s stretched out on th’ rock with his head turned th’ other way. I gits th’ loop to swingin’ right, and — braces my feet. I ain’t what you’d call a expert with uh rope. In fact I’m of th’ garden variety when it comes to swingin’ th’ rope, but I’m game. I gives th’ rope uh last whirl and lets her go. Did I git that badger? IdtelluhmanIdid! Also, I gits th’ bear. Uh bear and uh badger may be good pals when they’re separated, but friendship ceases when yuh pulls ’em together in th’ loop of uh rope. Also they makes it un- comfortable fer th’ party on th’ other end of th’ rope. When I stops at th’ cabin I ain’t wearin’ no pants, but I got uh’ strangle holt on that ol’ badger. Pore ol’ Abie gits loose about half-way home, and he shore moves spry- like to th’ top of th’ cabin, where he orates his displeasure and shows symptoms uh liver trouble. They helps me hog-tie that bad- ger, and then Mighty complains uh heap about his pet. cCoMmiclook CO S|