Adventure Magazine Cover — page 150: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

144 and I wish to ask a few questions. Is the hipwiggler a vegetarian or of the carnivora, and what is its habitat?” “The hipwiggler,” says Magpie, “eats anything and is fond of children. It is of the hootchie-kootchie family. Hootchie, meaning hip, and kootchie, meaning to wiggle. The great difference between it and anything else is in its shape, size, actions, color and odor.” ‘“‘Hootchie-kootchie?” asks Ajax. that—er—an Indian word?” “Uh-huh. The Camelpunchers.” “Has the hipwiggler a distinctive odor?” ‘You dang well know it has. You look for something that you never seen nor smelled before. Sabe? Catch it and bring it here, and if it ain’t a hipwiggler we’ll tell you.” “T see. We will have an elimination pro- ceedings.” “Ts ‘Somebody will be, that’s a cinch,” grins_ Magpie. Ajax tightens the rope around his waist, picks up his sack and faces the east. “T gird up my loins and fare forth. Today I will complete my quest. I bid you good morning, gentlemen.” We watches the blamed fool pilgrim across the hills. . ‘““You’ve got to admire him for sticking,” says I, but Magpie snorts: “Yeah? Might as well give three cheers for a cactus, Ike.” ae nO past about dinner-time and stops to smoke a cigaret. _ “Seen a posse today,” grins Doughgod. “Some bunch. Scenery Sims, Mighty Jones and Doleful Doolittle. Put them three on a two-by-four island and they couldn’t find each other.” ‘Where did you see ’em, Doughgod?” asks Magpie. “They left town about an hour before I started. Pointed towards Mighty’s place.” Doughgod rode on, and me and Magpie ponders things. That’s some posse to go after anybody. Pretty soon Magpie sniffs the air. I sniff a little too, and then we hear Scenery Sims’ squeaky voice. “Halt! You darn fool—halt!”’ We steps around the corner of the cabin and sees a queer sight. In the middle of the trail stands Ajax. Standing between his long legs is a goat—a sick-looking goat. “DOUGHGOD” SMITH comes Adventure Ajax has got the sack over his shoulder, and when he sees us he swings it to the ground. Above him on the hill is Scenery with a rifle in his hands, and about sixty feet behind Ajax is Mighty, hanging on .to his nose. Below Ajax, standing on the side of the hill with a rock in each hand, is Doleful. “Stand still, dog-gone you!” squeaks Scenery. ‘“‘You’re under arrest!” “Tt is all very peculiar,” says Ajax sick- like. “I don’t know what it all means, and I 2 Ajax picks up his sack and starts for us. “Stop him, Magpie!” yelps Scenery. “Shoot the darn fool!”’ Ajax stops and looks foolish. ‘Will somebody explain things?” asks Magpie, holding his nose. ‘“He’s a thief,” says Scenery. “Caught with the goods, too. He stole thet goat from Mighty Jones.”’ “Well,” says I, “why don’t you arrest. him, Scenery? He ain’t heeled.” “Not me! I don’t want him.” “T demand his arrest!’ yelps Mighty. “Shut up, Mighty!’ squeaks Scenery. ‘“‘He’s been arrested five minutes; ain’t you, feller?,’ “You mentioned such a proceeding,” admits Ajax. “The law is satisfied.” ‘‘What you got in the sack, Ajax?’’ I yells. “T am not sure, but I think it is a hip- wiggler.”’ “He tried to steal my sheep,” stated Doleful. “He assaulted me and——” “Hipwiggler !’’ snorts Mighty. ‘‘He’s got a polecat in that sack. Him and that goat are inoculated against any smeil from now on and forever. Amen.” Ajax stands there and looks foolish. He can’t smell nothing. There is such a thing as getting too much. The goat swallers hard and leans against Ajax. I feel sorry for the goat. “Well,” says Magpie. ‘‘you might as well take your goat, Mighty.” “Not me!” yells Mighty. goat forever.” “Well, it’s sort of a deadlock,” says I. “Ajax is arrested in name only and the owner of the stolen property refuses to take it back.” Just then Judge Steele rides in from the mine. We explains things to him, and he looks wise. “T’m off that DOOK C@