Adventure Magazine Cover — page 142: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

136 together, ‘“‘to study the effects of astragalas splendens on the genus Ovius.”’ Me and Magpie looks at each other and then at Ajax. “Tt is very interesting, don’t you think?” asks Ajax. Magpie walks over to the stove and begins to cut more bacon. After he gets it on the stove he turns to Ajax. ‘‘What do you drink for breakfast?” “Rarely anything, I thank you.” “You ought to take something,” says I. “Well, if I should, I prefer a beverage of thea sinensis,” “My !’ prunts Magpie. ‘‘We’re all out of that. Ike, I told you to get us some the last time you was in Piperock.” “Tt is not necessary at all,”’ says Ajax. “T know it ain’t,” agrees Magpie, “but I’d sure like to know what in it is.” Ajax drank water. Later on me and Magpie got his dictionary and looked up everything that human beings drink, and we found that that danged word-strangler wanted tea. He don’t sabe Blackfeet, Flathead or Chinook, and won’t talk United States. We can’t understand his wau-wau; so we can see that e-ventually some of us_are going to be badly misunderstood. If it hadn’t been for Professor Middleton we'd have lured Ajax to a tall place in the trail and shoved him off. He wasn’t even funny. If you poked a gun under his nose he wouldn’t have horse sense enough to hold up his hands. No, I'll be danged if he would! He’d likely smell into the muzzle, look it over careful-like and then classify it in a language that nobody in Yaller Rock County could interpret. After breakfast he says— ., “T will rest today if you don’t mind.” “Rest in peace,’ says Magpie. ‘Take root if you must, but for the love of Moses try and bend your back and be sociable. You don’t smoke, and if you did swear in your own little way nobody’d understand you. Do you drink?” “Spiritus frumenti?”’ “Go to ! Next time I says good morning to you, Ajax, it will be in sign language. I’m through talking to you, that’s a cinch.” “T will not consider it obligatory,” says he lofty-like, and I just grabs Magpie’s hand in time. ) Adventure “Don’t hold the hand of progress, Ike,” says Magpie. ‘Can you figure out one good reason why I shouldn’t kill him?” “Except that we don’t know exactly where to ship his remains. He’s from Bos- ton, Magpie, but it ain’t like saying, ‘He’s from Piperock.’ You’ve got to figure that Boston covers considerable space, and until . we finds out his home address we better let him suffer. Sabe?”’ ‘Where is your home, Ajax?” asks Mag- ie. “Home? family?” I lets loose of Magpie’s hand and reached for my own gun, but the coming of Dirty Shirt Jones saves me from killing a fool-hen out of season. Dirty slides off his bronc and nods to us. Then he sees Ajax. He peers at Ajax for a minute and then gets right back on his bronc. “Get off and rest your feet, Dirty,” says I, but Dirty only stares at Ajax and shakes his head. Dirty shakes his head like a bee was buzz- ing around his ear. He shuts his eyes, shakes his head hard, and looks again. “My !” says he awed-like. “I’ve seen a lot of things in my life. I’ve seen a tarantaler waltzing with a angle-worm, I have. I’ve seen a little green devil riding a Gila monster in a race against a horned toad which was ridden by me, but I’ve al- ways been able to shake ’em loose for a minute. This’n I can’t!” “T am Professor Ajax Ulysses Green,”’ says Ajax stiff-like. “It is extremely em- barrassing when one’s friends forget the— I—er—it places me in a position wherein I am forced to introduce myself to one whom my acquaintances greet as one of their own kind. Embarrassing, I assure you.” — _ “Ex-cuse me,” says Magpie. ‘‘Ajax, let me make you used to Dirty Shirt. Dirty, this here is Ajax.” ‘“‘Name’s familiar,’ says Dirty, scratch- ing his head. “Oh, yes! ‘Boiled Egg’ Benson had a jJassack by that name. I won- dered who he named it after and why he used to kick it in the ribs all the time. Poor mule!” “Maybe Dirty Shirt could help you, Ajax. He’s seen about all there is in this country.” “Possibly,” agrees Ajax. ful to a startling degree.”’ And then he turns to Dirty. The habitual abode of one’s ) “Td be grate- CoOnniclool C@