Adventure Magazine Cover — page 111: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tippecanoe and Cougars Two 10! “Papa, did you put on the brakes?” she reckon we better ask for divine protection.” p you p p asks. Aloysius scratches his head and looks around. “I really can’t remember, my dear. Where did we have them last?” ée d Til unhitch that team so as to keep my mind off: the painful things of life. Better take them two boxes of dynamite and put ‘em where that bunch can’t fall over ’em, The I unloads two fifty-pound boxes of powder and the bunch of grub Magpie had been to Piperock after, while Aloysius, Lord Wash- burn and Tip seems to hold a conference. Then they comes over to me. ‘Can we. go any farther with the car?” asks Aloysius. “Well,” says I, “after seeing you hop the rocks and stumps out there, I’d hate to say.” “Mister Seeley tells me that your two spotted horses are suitable to carry lug- gage,”’ says Washburn. “We would like to rent them, if we may—in the event that we can go no farther with the car.” ‘I’ve got four saddle-hosses at my ranch,” says Tip. ‘Women can ride ’em.” “Women can ride ’em, Tip?’ I asks. ‘“‘Women can ride as well as men, can’t they?” _ Just then Magpie comes back, and I puts it up to him about the pintos. “To pack?” says he. ‘Sure you can have the horses. Won’t guarantee ’em though.” “Oh, that’s perfectly all right,” savs Aloysius. “I assure you we will take a chance on them wearing out.”’ Magpie looks at me and I look at Magpie, but we don’t say a word. Neither of them _broncs has ever had anything on their backs, except a harness. } WELL, that whole danged bunch sets right down and makes them- selves tohome. Lord Washburn is an English setter and the rest is blooded stock in which the setter instinct pre- dominates. Magpie goes over to Tip, and says— “Well, why don’t you pitch camp, Tip?” “T ain’t running the show. Ask the lord. He, he, he! Sounds like-a prayer.” ‘“‘A prayer might be in order,” nods Mag- pie. ‘After looking the bunch over, I s delight!” grunts Magpie. “Reckon \ Then cometh mamma. Mamma sizes me up, like she was looking at a dogy, and Says: -“Will you prepare a dinner menu so I mav consider it?’’> “Will I prepare a dinner me and you?” I asks. ‘“‘That’s a of a way to use United States language, ma’am. Why don't you say, ‘Will you prepare a dinner for me and you; so we may eat?’ we don’t consider nothing but our stum- micks, ma’am.”’ : Mamma rears up and almost falls over backwards. She adjusts her glasses and glares at me. “Of all things!’ she snaps, which covers everything a mule-skinner could say in five minutes’ straight cussing. “Such insolence!”” Then she whirls and yelps, ‘‘Aloysius!”’ Aloysius’ backbone settles about seven inches when he hears that yelp, but he toddles over beside her. She grabs him by the arm and points at me. ‘You selected him,’’ she snaps. ‘‘Him!” “Did I?” squeaks Aloysius. ‘‘All right, dearie.”’ “Now discharge him!’’ she whoops. ‘“‘But—but, my dear,” pleads Aloysius, “‘I—I must have a guide.” “Guide? Didn’t youhire him asa chef?” “Chef? Perhaps I did, dearie.”’ “T demand his discharge—at once!” “Well,” says Aloysius, sad-like, and mamma shakes him, “well—get out—out of the kitchen. Now, my dear, I have dis- charged him—who will get dinner?” Mamma sets her jaw and looks all around. Her eyes light on Magpie and she decides Guick. “TI employ that man in the late chef’s place. Prepare a menu—at once!” Magpie’s mouth forms a real smart reply, beginning with profanity, but he manages to choke it back. Then he stares at me and then at her. “Yes’m. I got all my education at night the same of which spoils me for writing in the day-time, but I'll orate a bill of fare.”’ “Very well!” Magpie smooths his mustache and chants: ‘‘Bean soup, hot enough to burn a burro’s belly, Fried bronc’s ears and Gila-monster jelly. Horse-hoof salad and some jerked rawhide, © Baked turkey buzzard with some loco fried, Sidewinder gravy and a sunburned spud, Saddle-blanket pie and a cup of mud.”’ CO Up here. she snaps. “Iam listening.’’. Gbooks C©