Pickwick Abroad; or, The Tour in France — page 368: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a — - PICKWICK ABROAD. 355 may be desirous of changing their conditions, are requested tu insert their names. N.B. Gentlemen are respectfully informed that W. T. has a numerous assortment of widows, with considerable fortunes, upon his private list. Second N.B. Commissions to be paid in advance; and no money will be returned, ifthe match be not found suitable.’’ ‘Tt must be an excellent business, J] should think,” observed Mr. Tapman, as he returned the prospectus to Mr. Terry, who, however, requested him to keep it. ** Excellent!’ cried the Matrimonial Advocate. “So I should have thought,’”’ mused Mr. Tupman; and he glanced first at Mr. Pickwick, then at Mr. Terry; and then he suffered his eye to wander complacently over his own portly person. ‘“¢ Can I do nothing for you in that way ?” enquired Mr. Terry, who spoke through a very crooked nose. “1! oh!—no—not I!” exclaimed Mr. Tupman, again referring to the prospectus. ‘¢ Shall I look you out a nice little widow, with three or four chil- dren, and as many hundreds a-year ?”’ demanded Mr. Terry. “ Or would you prefer one without the children? The commission would be heavier—but the match might be the more eligible.” ‘Tupman,” said Mr. Pickwick sternly, “‘trifle not with the best feelings that ennoble the heart of man, and which originate the most sacred of institutions!’’ added this truly great observer of human nature. “‘ My dear Sir,’ began Mr. Terry, “* you really seem to take too severe a view of a transaction which—’”’ ‘“Ts as infamous as it is ridiculous!” cried Mr, Pickwick, rising from his chair, placing his left hand beneath his coat-tails, and waving his right in the air. ‘“< Sir!” said Mr. Terry. “Don’t Sir me, Sir,” ejaculated Mr. Pickwick, whose imposing attitude had already made a deep impressicn upon the Matrimonial Advocate: ‘‘ but take up your prospectus, and then take yourself off ; and never presume to call here again with your improper notions of hymeneal connexions.”’ ** Really, my dear Pickwick,” remonstrated Mr. Tupman, “I shink you are unnecessarily severe with this poor man.” “Sam !”’ cried Mr, Pickwick, without heeding the observations of his friend. | ‘* Here you alr, Sir,” said that individual, who had been listening with his ear to the key-hole ever since Mr. Terry’s arrival. . ‘‘ Vot’s the office now ?” ‘¢ Show this gentleman to the door,” cried Mr. Pickwick, when his faithful domestic appeared before him. ‘‘Nothin’s more easier,” observed Mr. Weller, “ perwided he'll jist give his-self the trouble to follerme. Woluntary locomotion’s all the go now-a-days.”’ Mr. Terry rose to depart with a very pale face; and Mr. Tupman in vain endeavoured to conceal the disappointment he had experienced in having his conversation with the Matrimonial Advocate thus abridged. EM PMNICLOO KS, (eC) =