Pickwick Abroad: A Companion to the Pickwick Papers — page 132: what you’re looking at

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‘ 120 allusion was anything but personal: Mr. Snuffery observed that he was satisfied, but that if the explanation had not been given, he should most decidedly have re- signed the post of treasurer to the Compa- ny—a statement which, considering the na- ture of that Company’s assets, filled the whole Committee with immediate alarm. This was only appeased by the production of a black bottle and the imbibing of a lit- tle drop of brandy by each member ; with- out which sudden remedy, the whole busi- ness might have been blighted in the bud. Mr. Muggins, indeed, was so affected by the temporary misunderstanding, that he was under the necessity of filling his glass and emptying it three times before he could muster up sufficient strength to attend to business. : When something like order was restored, Captain Walsingham continued: his truly wonderful oration as follows: “But, gentlemen, I have only enumera- ted one half—indeed, I may safely say, only one quarter of the numerous advantages attending the substitution of asphalte for paving-stones. I have often remarked— and what gentleman present has not done the same ?—TI say, gentlemen, that I have often remarked that the pavement, as it now exists, is frequently unsteady beneath the feet. Gentlemen, last evening only, I dined with a friend in the city—in fact, gentlemen, to be candid with you, it was my old and much esteemed friend, Sir Bar- ryl Punshun, the alderman and highly re- spectediavine-merchant of Portsoken Ward ; and as Pcame home, I found that the pave- ment down Ludgate Hill was so unsteady, I could scarcely walk on it. Now, will you believe it, gentlemen, when I assure you that by the time I arrived at the foot of Blackfriars Bridge, I was compelled to lie down in the very street, on account of the turn the mequality and bad state of the pavement upon Ludgate Hill had given me? (Groans and hisses.) Mr. Muggins,” continued the worthy Chairman, “{ hope you will help yourself. Yes, gentlemen, I can myself vouch for the truth of the cir- cumstance ; the stone pavement 7s unsafe —very unsafe, gentlemen; and the asphal- tum must replace it. I repeat it, gentle- men—” and Captain Walsingham smote the table with amazing violence—“ I repeat it, that you cannot walk with safety upon stone pavement—and all I know is, that there are times (particularly after dinner) PICKWICK ABROAD. ” when J myself cannot even stand upright upon it.” “Our worthy Cheerman’s quite right,” exclaimed Mr. Muggins: “this house 0’ his’n is built upon stones, and blowed if | ain’t so unsteady, I can’t sit upon my cheer,” Perhaps it struck Mr. Muggins at this precise moment, that he might be able to sit upon the floor, even if he could not re- tain his chair: at all events he placed him- self comfortably under the table; and as the brandy he had drank was somewhat soporific in its effects, having been purpose- ly hocussed by Captain Horatio Clarence Walsingham, he sank into a mild and tran- quil slumber, to the extreme comfort of himself and to the unmitigated disgust of his companions. | “ Printer’s brought the prospeckteses, he says, please sir,’ exclaimed the landlady, thrusting her head in at the door just as Mr. Muggins thrust himself under the table. | “Oh! very well,” cried Captain Wal- singham, being perfectly aware that it was very ill, “Tell him to leave them—I can’t attend to him now.” : “ Please sir,” ejaculated the printer’s boy, who had followed the landlady up the stairs, as far as the door of the Captain's three-pair back,—“ please, sir, master said as *how—” “Very well, very well,” interrupted the Chairman of the Universal Stone-Expel- ling and Asphaltum-Substituting Equitable Company: “ Tll attend to it directly.” “That I vosn’t to leave ’em without the money,” added the boy, “for the behoof of . all the directors and the treasurer of the aforesaid eminent Company.” | “Let him send in his bill to the Secre- tary,” returned the Chairman : “ the account shall be audited in due course.” “Tm very much afeerd mas’er don’t know nothink about the Secreterry,” an- swered the boy, putting his right hand to his nose, and the left hand after the right, and extending the fingers of both in truly interesting puerile sport. “What—do you mean to say that we ain’t to be trusted, you young rascal ?” de- manded Captain Walsingham. “ No—I doesn’t: but mas’er does,” re- plied this unaccountable boy, perfectly un- awed by the presence of that which intended to be the richest Company in the world. | “Oh! he does—does he?” said Captain Waslingham, rising in state from his Lang- ham chair, and preparing to kick the little boy down stairs; “well, then—you may GO 10)(0O) (9) (C(O)