The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 157: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE MYSTERIZS OF THE COURT. piling the bottles around us as we emptied them: and we heaped them up so high in a circle round about us, that when the colonel dropped down dead drunk, I got up—as sober as 1 am now—and had literally to dash down a wall of bottles before | I could get out of the place.” “Your lordship’s head must have ached very much the next morning ?” said Makepeace. “Not a bit of it!” ejaculated the Earl. “I recollect I was up at five o'clock, and rode the celebrated steeple-chase in which I beat the whole field—won the ten thousand guinea stakes—and killed that celebrated horse of mine that was sent me as a present by the Pasha of Egypt for dis- covering the source of the Nile.” “Your lordship travelled early in life,’ said Makepeace, with the air of a man who was so deeply interested in his master’s exploits that he anxiously sought for farther information. ““'Yes—I travelled early,’ said the Earl, in a complacent and self-satisfied way. “I left college wien I was thirteen, and set off on a walking tour through Africa and Asia. Of course I could not manage my tour on the Continent of Europe, because we were at war at the time.” “The deserts of Africa, my lord, must have been unpleasant ?” remarked Makepeace, inquiringly. “Yes—for your milk-and-water travellers, who cannot bear hardships,” replied the Earl: “but I eared nothing for them. I caught a wild elephant —tamed him—and rode on his back; so, you see, that it was not altogether a walking tour. I was somewhat troubled with lions and tigers, which swarm as thick as mosquitoes in that country: but I was always on the alert in the day-time; and at night, when I chose to travel—which I chiefly did, on account of the coolness of the night- air—I contrived a portable fire, which the elephant carried with his trunk, and so it frightened off the wild beasts.” “Exceedingly strange, my lord!” exclaimed Makepeace: “but I was reading an account of this remarkable mode of travelling the other day ; and as no name was mentioned, I was at a loss to conceive who the traveller could have been. I thank your lordship for the information: it has cleared up the mystery.” “So you see,” continued the Karl, “ that when I was very young, I encountered a great number of strange adventures. Mine has been an extra- ordinary life; and for comparatively a young man, I can look back upon a great deal. Did you ever hear of my first speech in the House, when I suc- ceeded to the title P” “T think I have heard of the wonderful effect it produced, my lord,” answered Makepeace. “* Effect, indeed !” ejaculated the nobleman. “ It was on a very important subject. Lord—I forget who he was—brought forward a Some noble. 151 interjected Makepeace, with a smirking smile, “which your lordship had ‘to utter on so vital an occasion.” “Well, to confess the truth,’ answered the Earl, “I did only intend to say a few words: 1 did not know my own oratorical powers at that time: indeed I scarcely suspected them. But | when I found myself on my legs, I was hurried away as if by a tornado. I can compare it to nothing but a perfect hurricane of language, bear- ‘ing along with it myriads of brilliant stars of ‘metaphor. The very wig of the Chancellor him- \self—that wig which was the subject of the. memorable debate—stood on end. The perspira- tion ran down my face, so that all my clothes were saturated as if I had plunged into a hot bath: and, by the bye, I found on weighing myself next morning, that I had lost seven pounds of flesh. It was terrific! I began at eleven o’clock; and it was half-past three in the morning when I sat down—the longest debate and the longest speech on record !”’ “JT need not ask whether your lordship carried the day,” observed Makepeace: “for history re- cords the result.” “To be sure! The whole House became Non- Content in a moment after I sat down; and the Lord Chancellor never forgave me. It was all through his vindictive machinations that the King did not send for me to be Prime Minister a few months afterwards: but his Majesty wrote me the handsomest apology, explaining how he would rather have me at the head of his councils than any statesman in England, but that he did not dare offend the old Chancellor. I have got the King’s letter still: I will show it to you one of these days.” “ Her ladyship ought to be very proud of such a husband,’ observed Makepeace. “To be sure she ought !—and I believe she is. What is your opinion ?” “It is a celicate subject, my lord,’ responded the valet with a simulated hesitation: “but still I do happen to know that her ladyship is proud of the alliance which she has so happily—and I may add, so gloriously formed.” “Come, tell me, my good fellow, how do you happen to know this ?” “Why, my lord, servants will get talking together ——_I hope your lordship will not be “No, no: I shall look over it. Goon. Per- haps her ladyship’s maids ti “That is exactly what it is, my lord. It was only yesterday they were telling me,” continued Makepeace, “how her ladyship speaks to them of your lordship when they are alone together.” “Her ladyship does not suspect, does she come tell me the truth now—I know you would not motion that the Lord €hancellor, who was afraid | deceive me—but does her ladyship suspect any- of an apoplectic fit, should be permitted to sit|thing about this?” and the Earl significantly without his wig. There was a crowded House, and all the first talents displayed themselves on the occasion. It was just going to a division at eleven o’clock at night, when the Contents would have carried it: but I, who very well knew that the whole mystery of the British Constitution and the safety of Church and State were involved in the question, rose to say a few words.” “ But I dare say they were not a few words,” twitched the hair-fringe of his night-cap with his finger and thumb. “ Not for a moment, my lord!” ejaculated Make- peace. “On the contrary, her ladyship was telling her maids the other day But I am afraid I shall give your lordship offence.” “No, no—I will overlook this little gossiping. I know that it does take place amongst servants. Goon. What did her ladyship say ?” > x . 2 = ; _ . ‘ awe . = 6)(0)(0) (COMM G S (C(O)