The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 217: what you’re looking at

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) 202 THE MYSTERIES. pump to refresh my burning tongue. drank the cold water which my stomach loathed, I felt like brother Sneaksby again—that I had a call. I heard of the New Lights—I repaired to Salem— | and this revered gentleman at once took me to his | home, and set steaks and bottled porter before me. Then I knew that a blessing attended upon the sect which he had founded ; and I unhesitatingly joined it, Oh! my dear Mr. Meagles—my Christian sister, Lady Letitia Lade—with these striking examples before your eyes, can you hesitate to come amongst us? Most welcome will ye be—chosen vessels will ye prove—and the gold and silver which ye have promised to give unto Salem will help to redeem other lost creatures, even as such a miserable sinner s Ichabod Paxwax has been brought to redemp- on !” With this eloquent and touching peroration, the pious gentleman drained his tumbler and sate down, — Meagles made a suitable response, and ended by proposing the health of Lady Lade Again were the tumblers filled and emptied ; and then the Amazon, haying returned thanks, insisted that a similar com- pliment should be paid to her friend Meagles. The more they drank, the less hesitation did the pious gentlemen exhibit in drinking deeper draughts ;— and what with the toasts already enumerated, and others subsequently proposed and honoured, both Mr. Sneaksby and Mr. Paxwax were in a yery com- fortable condition indeed by the time Mrs, Piggleberry and Wasp served up the promised banquet. | The landlady seemed highly delighted to find her second-floor ladger on such excellent terms with the occupant of her first storey; and Wasp appeared literally bursting with the mischievous propensities to which he did not hawever dare give vent in the presence of his master. One little freak he did per- form all the same; and this was tg tread with all his weight and force upon Mr. Ichabod Paxwax's tees— an incident for which he apologized with an a jpear- ance of the utmost sincerity, and which made that pious gentleman wriggle and twist for some moments in excruciating torture. At length the turkey, the chine, and the mashed potatoes, flanked by foaming tankards of brown stout and sparkling ale, were duly spread upon the hospitable board; and Mr. Nathaniel Sneaksby con- trived to place himself close to the Amazon, on whose charms his eyes had been dwelling for the previous half-hour with a gloating earnestness that was only subdued by the vacancy of inebriety. “Won’t you ask a blessing, brother Sneaksby ?” said Mr. Ichabod Paxwax, his eyes watering with the pain so recently inflicted upon his corn, and his mouth watering likewise, but at the odour of the turkey. “ Hic—aye—verily, I was ob—liv—livious,” re- ' sponded the reverend gentleman; and, joining his hands, he muttered something which was so inter- spersed with “hics” that it was perfectly unintelli- sible. Mr. Paxwax, however, seemed satisfied; and moaned forth a guttural “ Amen” at the conclusion. Tim Meaglesnow carved the turkey: and the pious gentlemen did honour tothe repast. Nor did they spare the brown stout, of which they seemed parti- cularly fond; and the heavy malt hquor, mixing with the wine which they had taken in no niggard quantities, produced such an effect upon them that i a Then, as I | while the one saw two Sneaksbys and ten candles, the other beheld two Paxwaxes and a dozen lights. Meagles and the Amazon exchanged significant elances from time to time, testifying to each other how intensely they enjoyed the evening’s proceed- ings; andthe mischievous pair kept filling the pious gentlemen’s glasses the moment they were emptied. . “Brother Sneaksby,” at length said the stout and red-faced saint, “ I pre—he—hic—sume that we shall now—hic—wind—hic—up, with sing—ing-—ing the —hic—dox—ox— ology.” “ Hold your tongue, brother Paxwax — you’re drunk!” exclaimed the reverend minister of Salem Chapel, who at that moment had begun to press his knee gently against the Amazon’s. “Drunk!—me drunk!” moaned the astounded Ichabod, falling back in his chair, and lifting his hands in horrified amazement. “ Brother Sne—eaks —hicby—did you mean that for me 2?” To be sure I did—hic,” responded the reverend gentleman, darting a savage glance on his friend. * Drunk—beastly drunk, I say. Verily, Ich—hic— abod, thou hast likened thyself unto filthy swine!” For a few seconds Mr. Paxwax gazed on his leader with the vacant stare of stupid astonishment: then, all on a sudden giving vent to his feelings in a hol- low moan, he fell flat upon the floor. “Dead drank!” exclaimed Meagles; and Wasp being summoned to assist, the inebriated New Light was borne up-stairs to his pious friend’s chamber, where he was undressed all put to-bed in a most hopeless state of intoxication. But seareely had the door closed behind Meagles and Wasp, as they earried Mr. Ichabod Paxwax away between them, when the Rey. Mr. Sneaksby, apparently regardless of his companion’s fate, turned towards Lady Letitia Lade; and, assuming as tender an expression as the peculiar configuration of his countenance and his own obfuscated ideas would per- mit, he said, ‘f Yea, verily, sweet woman, thou art comely to—hic—look upon. But doth not that tight fitting coat compress—ess thy form—hic— somewhat conveniently ?” “ Oh! not in the least, I can assure you,” exclaimed the mischieyous Amazon, allowing him to press his knee more closely still against her own, and bending upon him a look of encouragement. “Of asurety I am surprised that thou art easy in such an attire,” continued Mr. Sneaksby, leaning forward: “methought it must be tight and even painful here.” And, as he spoke, he passed his hand over the Amazon’s bosom: then, flattering himself that as she only smiled gaily with her red lips and her wicked eyes, she was far from offended at his pro- ceeding, he pressed the glowing orbs which were im- prisoned in the well-fitting riding- coat. But at the same moment the huntress raised her hand and dealt him such a smart and ringing box on the ears, that the pious gentleman was knocked clean off his chair and levelled as completely with the floor as his friend Ichabod had been, though from another cause, before him. ‘‘ Holloa! what’s the matter?” exclaimed Meagles, returning to the room at the instant. “Only the Rey. Mr. Nathaniel Sneaksby making love to me,” responded the Amazon, almost suflocat- ing with the hilarious laughter in which she now in- | dulged. Meagles comprehended what had passed; and —-- — et | (C©) c} MICLOO cS.co