The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 179: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

sae Ga want .- av 0 166 Provided therefore with the half-dozen letters, Wr; Nathan Crimp set outon the mission which se had undertaken; and, calling a coach, he or- lered himself to be driven in the first instance to Lady Singleton’s mansion in Clasges Street. On alighting at the spleadid abode, Mr. Crimp cnocked and rang in a somewhat authoritative manner: for he considered that he was now per- orming the part of Mrs. Fitsherbert’s friend and: eherefore derived a certain dignity from that posi- <cion. “Well, what is it, my man?” "demanded the aall-porter, surveying Mr. Crimp with a somewhat suspicious eye. “Is your missus at home?” asked the bailiff, assuming a look and: manner of awfal import- ance. “ D’ye mean the housekeeper or cook—which ?” exclammed the hell-porter, pursing up his mouth pompously when he had put the question. “I mean Lady Singleton — that’s which,” re- sponded Mr. Crimp. “So you'll just be so kind as _&o give her this here dokiment—you isay take your davy it isn’t a writ—and tell her as how the genel- aman which brought it is a-waiting her ladyship’s pleasure.” “What name shall I say?” inquired the hall- porter. “ What name—air? Nathan Crimp, if you must know,” was the prompt reply. The countenance and manner of the hall-porter ohanged in an instant: it was ice suddenly thaw- aug —or rather turning into the most dulcet honey. tor the fact was that the man understood the Latliifs answer to be precisely this :—“ What name? oi: Nathan Crimp, if you must know.” The con- s€juence was that the livericd functionary was seized with the conviction that the shabby-looking visitor was some eccentric baronet not over par- ticular in his toilette, but probably very rich ;— aad he therefore, witheut any more ady, ushered the sheriff’s-oficer up into the drawing -room— throwing open the door and bawling out in the usually ceremonial manger, “Sir N athan Crimp ” Lady Sing‘eton was the widow of a baronet whose family was distinctly traceable back (thanks to the inventive genius of certain clever dealers in vanity- fictions at the Heralds’ College) to the rcign of William Rufus. Her ladyship was now in her fiftieth year; and when inheriting her late hus- band’s immense fortune, she had carefully pre- served all his ancestral pride likewise. She was childless: some distant relative of her deceased husband had succeeded to the baronetcy, while she secured all the broad lands and the hoarded cash; and she was therefore on the look out fora new matrimonial venture. At the preciso moment when the bailiff was so pompously announced by the hall-porter as Sir Nathan Crimp, Lady Singleton was seated in the drawing-room with her “toady,” or “companion.” A toady, or companion, is a poor gentlewoman who wvants a home and everything else, and is therefore glad to accept all those requjsites upon conditions which, if not absolutely specified in a verbal or written contract, are generally understood. Fora toady must be a woman of cheerful disposition, or at least must invariably seem te be cheerful: she must never give way to bad spirite—never have a headache—never be out of sorts—never grumble ee at anything—never be discontented. On. the eon- trary she must be satiefied with everything that the lady-with whom sho jives may say or do: she mnst never contradict—never have an opinion of her own—never see with her own eyes, nor hear with her own cars, nor: think with her own mind: in fact, she masi perform all Fae mcnons through the organs and senses of her must always be prepared to go out when the iedy goes out, or stay at home when the lady.stays at home: ehe must narse and coddle the lady whe she is ill, and pat up with all her caprices, whims, and fancies when she is well. She must always be ready to become a scapegoat, as well as an object against which her patroness may vent a passing ill-humour: she must carry the prayer-book to charch on Sunday, and hold the lap-dog on her inees in the carriage ;—and she must take excel- lent care not to draw towards herself that admira. tion or those attentions on the part of the other sex which are looked upon as the rightfal mono- poly of her patroness. These are the duties and fanctions of a toady; and for the discharge of the same she is lodged, fed, salaried, and rewarded with cast-off gowns into the Lady Singleton, then, was with Miss Jukes, het “companion,” when the bailiff was announced. Miss Jukes was forty-two years of age—short, stumpy, fat, and good-humoured: Lady Singleton was tall, seraggy, and prim. The high-sonnding name of Sir Nathan Crimp made them both start; —and when they fixed their eyes upon the Paks half-shabby, and. half-flashy appearance of bailiff, they were rather shocked for a moment. Bes the same thought which had already struck the hall-porter, simultaneously sprang up in the minds of those ladies; and they accordingly concluded that the visitor must be some eccentrie baronet or knight, whose enormous wealth was perhaps so no- torious as to counteract any disagreeable results which might arise to himself in consequence of the neglect apparent in his toilette. The hall-porter placed a chair for the bailiff's accommodation, and then withdrew. Crimp seated himself on the edge of the chair—crushed his hat nervously between his knees—plucked up a spirit —and said, “Beg pardon, ladies—but Pm a friend of Mrs. Fitsherbert, which is a lady not unbeknown to you——" The widow and. Miss Jukes exchanged rapid glances, as wach as to say, “ What extraordinary English our new friend talks:” but the announce- ment that he was a friend of Mrs. Fitzherbert dis- ' armed them of any suspicion which the little gram- matical solecisms might have engendered gan- cerning hin. “ And pray how is that dear lady?” inquired Miss Jukes. “It is a week since you saw your excellent friend Mrs. Fitzherbert,” added the toady, turning towards Lady Singleton. “Jt is, my dear,” responded the wealthy widow. “T have been very neglectful in not calling upon her: but really what with Lady Pooke’s card-party —the Honourable Mrs. Dulcimer’s drom—the Countess of Blandingford’s rout——” “Qh! yes, indeed, my dear Lady Singleton, you have been so very, very gay during the past week !” exclaimed Miss Jukes. “ But then, you know, you are so much sought after—such a favourite——” “Well, perhaps I am, my dear,” sald Lady Sia- Pow E= oo meen ON i ee — oe (COU (C DOO (CO