The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 119: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The repast was ended—the cloth was removed— and the three boys had retired with Misa Tabitha, when the servant-of-all-work, either in ignorance of her mistress’s parsimonious intentions, or else in a little spirit of spite for numerous petty acts of tyranny inflicted upon her, exclaimed in a loud tone as she stood on the threshold of the door, “ Please, ma’ain, shall I put the gin oa the table and brag ap the hot water as usual /” Mr. Ichabod Paxwax actually bowsded upon his chair in delight; and Mr. Sneaksby's mouth instan- taneously began to water. These little airougastances were not lost upon Mr. and Mrs Beugg, who ex- changed rapid glances: for the degnestic had com- mitted a blunder which seriously cggapromused both their hospitality and their parsimony. “ Verily,” said Mr. Paxwax, fearful leat a negative should be put upon the maid-of-all-work’s proposal, “T think that a leetle drop of something warm would —would—do my eye good,” he addad, ao better ex- cuse suggesting itself at the instant. “ Weil, then,” exclaimed Mrs. Bryugg sharply, and with a threatening look at the miserable servant, “ if there does happen to be any gin in the house, we will break through an established rule and partake of a thimble-full each’ in honour of our beloved guests. You may bring up the hot water.” “Oh! I know there's pleaty of gin in the bottle, ma’am,” said the domestic : “ because I got it filled yesterday at the public, gad you and master only drank half of it.” not know that she had been standing for half a minute upon the threshold. “I was only telling our Christian friends what an excellent wife you are to me—and how hospitable you always prove yourself towards your guests——-Ahem ! my dear will you take a deefle drop more gin? It is good for the stomach’s sake, as the Apostle said of wine.” “No, Mr. Brugg—I will noé take another drop— and I beg thet you will not either,” exclaimed the irritated lady. “ if these gentlemen choose to finish the bottle, let them—but you sha’n’t help them, I can tell you 3’~—eand as she resumed her seat she darted spiteful looks at the Rev. Nathaniel Sneaks- by and Mr. jchabod Paxwax. “* My deag, my dear,” ssid the Rev. Joel Brugg in a tone of gentle remonstrance,—“ I hope you will not grove otherwise than—than—the very best woman jn ” : “Now you leave me alone and go on with your business, whatever it may be,” exclaimed Mre Brugg, foldigg her arms and leaning back in the chair in a very determined manner, as if she were perforaaing the part of sentinel upon the gin-bottle, whereon her looks now remained fixed. — “Well, my Christian brethren,” resumed Mr Brugg, casting uneasy glances from time to time at his wife,—“let us take into consideration the matter whereof yo are come to treat with me. And if my poor comprehension does not lead me astray, this visit on your part arieéth from certain observations which J made last week whea I saw you in Lon- | “Go and get the het wpger, I esy,” almost | don. shrieked forth Mrs. Brugg, derting terrifie glances at the unfortunate maid. There was no help for iti—end ¢he lady was ac- cordingly cofipelled to open ber caphoard and pro- duce the bottle, mach to the satisfaction of the New Lights. Giasses, hot-water, sugar, end lemons were speedily plaged apon the table; sad having brewed himself a good jorugs, Iohabod was himself again | But how cordially in her heart did Mg. Brugg hate and detest both that individeal end Mr, Sneaksby, when she saw them half fill thelr tamblers with gin before they poured in the water; and at every sip they took, she secretly wished that the steaming fluid might choke them. Indeed, being scarcely able to restrain her vexation, she was com- pelled to rush out into the kitchen and pour forth her envenomed feelings against the miserable ser- vant; then, having thus far relieved herself, she hubried up into the nursery, where she found » vent for the remainder of her ill-humour by box- ing the children’s ears all round. These two scenes of domestic life having passed off to her satisfaction, she returned to the parlour —but only to experience a horror and a consterna- tion which, as she declared to some friend on a subsequent occasion, “almost proved the death of ner :” for, lo aud behold! while she was employed in thrashing her olive-branches in the nursery, Mr. Bragg had actaally seat out for more gin | “ Weill, my dearly-beloved friends,” her husband began tosay the momen: she thus returned to the room—for he, prudent man! was anxious that she shonid catch the conoiliatery words that he sent forth in order to avest a storm,—“I have already teld you that my wife is the very best womaa in agistence-——-Oh! here you are, my dear!” he ex- ilaimed, suddenly interrupting kimeelf, as if he did “Yea, verily,” Mz. Sneaksby: “for on that occasion thou didst hint at the possibility of the amalgamation of the pious Candelabrians with the blessed New Lights.” * And forasmuch as the Candelabrians are nume- rous and jnfluential,” said Mr. Brugg, “the New Lights should join us and become merged in our communaty.’’ “ Nay, Brother Bragg,” exclaimed Mr. Sneaksby, “the Candelabrians must become incorporated with the New Lights.” “ Surely you are dreaming, Brother Sneaksby f” cried Mr. Brugg, becoming excited. “What? the Candelabrians resign that name which took me six months to think of and three more to fix the precise manner of spelling it? No, sir—no: it can’t be done! Besides, when I founded the sect of Cande- labrians, I meant to imply that they were the candles to light the world to the reading of the Scrip- tures———-” “And pray what else are the New Lights?” de- manded Mr. Sneaksby, likewise growing irritable, “ Aye—what are the New Lights, [ shoul: like to know f” exclaimed Mr. Paxwax. “Shall I tell you?” said Mrs. Brugg, her lips white and quivering with the vixenish ill-humour that stirred her soul. * If you choose, ma’am,” responded the Rev Nathaniel Sneaksby. “I should like to heag your Opinion of the New Lights,” he added, with a sar- castic emphasis. “And eo should {,” said Me. Paxwax. “Come ma’am—out with it—what are wef” “Humbugs— rank humbugs!” ejaculated Mrs. Brugg. “ There, now I've told yon—and my mind's relieved of a weight.” Thus speaking, the virago started from ber chaiz —eeized upga the gin-botsie, the sugar, and thy we (CO (C (CO