The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 115: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

— ee ee e w ¢ ‘43 “ Verily, and i is rather a supply of grease witch I need at this moment, Brother Sreaksby,” retorted Jchabod.: | ‘‘ Dest thou turn my words to ridicule?” ax- claimed the reverend gentleman, now spealiig sharply himself. “Traly, and this is most dis- respectful on thy part, Brother Paxwax: it is likewise unjust and unkind, seeing that I am.in no way an accessory to. the galling whieh thou receivest in the breech from the uncouth trotting of that animal. For when it was resolved by the Elders last evening that a deputation should repeir to Dartford, and when you and I were requeated to undertake that grave and solenm duty, thou didst of thine own accord declare thine intention of riding. upon an ase as a proof of thy mesimess ' and.a sign of thy humility." ‘‘ Since we are alone together; Brother Sneaks- by,” observed Mr. Ichabod Paxwaxz, who was writhing miserably upon tho saddle, and making the most awful contortions with his full-moon countenance,-~-“ I will honeatly and frankly con- fess that I chose this agsinine mode of cenvey~ ‘ aoe inasmuch as I am unaccastomed to bestride = the nobler animal called a horse.” “ And therefore, you perceive, Buotber Paxwarx, that thy duplicity is deservedly punished,” said Mn Sveakaby. ‘“ Thoa didst arrogate to thyself meeknessand humility in seleeting the age-—and the hidden reason was thine incapacity to ride the horse. Dost thoa know, Prothes Paxwaz, what,| hoisted the ungodly would odll thee ?” « What?” demanded Ichabed. 4 A humbug,” replied his reverend leadsr. “Then if the ungodly did,” exclaimed Mr. Pauwnx; ‘I would pull off my coat--tuek up my shirt sleoves—and punok the ungedly’s head.” “Oh! thou man. of wrath!” ejaculated Mn Snenkaby, dropping the reins and holding up his hande ia sanctimoniong horror at tho warlike thrent. Dut ag the travellers were at this moment de- scending.a hill and the horse move than ewer re-. quired to have his head held up, on aecount of his knecling propensities, the result of Mr. Snealksby’s. sudden abandenment of the reing was that the beast stumbled over a slope --and the reverend leader of the New. Lights was-pitehed airily and ‘neatly over the animal's head. “ Marder!’ roared the reverend gentleman, ag he rolled over and: over upen tke dusty -road. ‘“‘ Fire!” ejaculated Mr. | chabod. Paxwax, not knowing in tho bewilderment oftthe moment what wes the precise nature of the alarm whish he ought to mise. “ Of a verity this is marrelleusly anpleasant,”. groaned forth Mv. Smeakully, slowly.and painfully risiag from the g¥éund and rebbing himself all over. “I am sorely braised: bat I thank God that no bones are broken. Rot sew I cannot re- mount this graceless beast without assietance ; and, i all Christian charity, Brother Parwax, art thon bound to give me a leg up.” © Be it as thon sayest,” exclaimed Mn, Pagwex, deesduding: with a sort of giugeriy procaution from his donkey: for the poor man was indeed enduring excruciating paix from the camsevelready hinted at. Having’juet rabbed off the duet fscen bie rev | erend Kader’s garments by meaum ef bb pooket- handkerchiel, Mz. Paxwax endeaveured te }.cist that reverend gentleagan upen thm hose; but just at the moment when. the said raverend gostleman was about to throw his leg over, the animal: started suddenly aside—-aad the result was that Mr. Sneaksby fell heawily « seeond time, bearing down Mr. Paxwax with him. Up they both got in woeful plight; and it really may be pardoned them if they both gave vent to those little ejagulatery expressions of: irritation which are vulgariy called oaths. In- deed, we are bound, as honest historians, to- admit that the Reverend Nathaniel Sneakaby damned the horse’s eyes— while Mr. Ichabod Paxwaxz prociaimed an ardent desire te out his cursed liver out. Their very venial impatience being thus expended ip impresstiona, they regarded each other with lookg.of shame and confusion. “ Brother Paxwax didgt thoy hear the words that fell from my lips?” said Mr. Sneaksby, in a humiliated and contrite tone. “ No — that I dida't!” exclaimed Ichabod. “ Neither did you hear what I asid, Brother Sneaksby.” “ Verily and my ears ware closed,” was the response. Mutually cheered by these sasurenees, they brushed the dust off each other's garments; and having performed this “ Christian office,” as they termed it, they made another attempt in respect to the “leg up” But this time Mr. Pexwax his reverend and venerated friend so suddenly up that the said ravefend and venerated friend pitched completely over the animal, and rolled in the dust on the other side, -“Damnation seize you for s. cumsg fool!” roared Mr. Nathaniel Sneaksby, now: irritated beyond all power of endurance; aad sterting up froma the ground, he rushed after Mr. Ichabod Paxwax with the evident intention of infisting personal chasticoment apos him. i. But Ichabod, despite of the menape which he had just now uttered relative to puanhing the head of the ungodly, was et the botiom om arrant coward; and darting awey, he led Mn Sacalmby @ race—now running round the. horse and the ase-—ther dodging in between them—aptih Bis reverend pursuer was quite exhausted. ° ‘‘ Brother Paxwaz,” said thie gentiemam, peat- ing for breath, “let there be no strife. bairween us —-bat give me the hand of peace.” * OCheerfully will I respond unte.thy. Christian prapoeal, Brother Sneakeby,” exelhitsed Ichebad : and he advanced in full confidence and with ak tended hand towards hie leader. “There! take that for. your pains,” ejaqulated Mr. Sneaksby, dealing Mr. Pax wax a tremendous blow on tho left eye the moment he got him within arm’s reach. This treacherous proceeding astounded Brother. Ichabod even more completely than the assault staggered him; and clappiog hia hand to the damaged optic, he gazed with the other in ® sort of séwpid constesnetion. upon bie belliqase lesaler. “ Now who ie the mas of went)?” heat length exelaimed-- but prudently ted pagar a or two im orderto evaid s:.napetition af. the punish-~ rent. “TI love: thee, Booher Pasnrax,” seid Mr. Sneakeby, whose anges was: now appeaacd: by the vent it had fonrsd: “yen, verily, I love thee —~and therefore d.. I -shasten thea . CONMUC DOO (CO