The Mysteries of London, Vol. IV — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ere mt tt ee eee THE MYSTERIES OF LONDON, in the morning many pots of porter are disposed of— many quarterns of gin dispensed in two or three “outs” —and many screws of tobacco puffed off in smoke. Inside the Court, business commences in somewhat amore serious manuer. Four or five barristers take their places in a large box divided into two compart- ments like pews in a church:-a couple of Commis- sioners seat themselves on a bench made in very humble imitation indeed of those in the Courts at Westminster ;—a single reporter lounges into the snug crib so kindly allotted to the representatives of the press ;—several attorneys and attorneys’ clerks gather round the table between the counsel’s seats and the bench :—the Insolvents are penned up altogether in a sort of human fold on the right as you go into the tribunal ;—and at the back a crowd of unwashed faces rise amphitheatrically in the compartment appropriated to the audience. The Commissioners endeavour to look as much like the Judges of the Land as possible; —the barristers affect all the consequence and airs of Serjeants-at-Law or King’s Counsel ;—the Insolvents try to seem as happy as if they had nothing awkward in their schedules to account for;—and the spectators raiso heaven and earth toappear respectable: but each and all of these attempts are the most decided failures which it is possible to conceive. A general air of seedi- ness pervades the place: the professional wigs are dirty and out of curl, and the forensic gowns thread- bire;—and the disagreeable impression thus created oa the mind of the visitor, is enhanced to no trifling degree by a sickly smell of perspiration combined with the stale odour of tobacco smoke retained in the gar- ments of the audience. Amongst the Insolvents were two individuals whose appearance formed a most striking contrast. These were Mr. Joshua Sheepshanks and Mr. Frank Curtis. The former was dressed in deep black, with a white neck-cloth, and black cotton gloves a great deal too large for his hands: he had also put black crape round his hat, in the hope of creating the sympathy of the Commissioners by producing the impression of having sustained some serious and recent family loss. His sallow face was elongated with the awful sanctimoni- ousness which characterised it: his black hair was combed sleekly down over his forehead ;—and he sate bolt upright on the hard bench, every now and then raising his eyes to heaven—or rather to the lanthorn on the roof of the Court—as if in silent prayer. Mr. Frank Curtis was attired in his habitually flash manner; and as ho lolled back in his seat, he now and then bestowed a significant wink upon his attorney at the table, or exchanged a few familiar observations with the tipstaff, whom he had treated to egg-hot at the public-house opposite before they entered the Court. But where was Captain O’Blunderbuss? Wad he deserted his friend on this trying occasion? Gentle reader, do not suppose for an instant that the gallant officer was capable of what he himself would describe to be the “ most bastely maneness”—so long as Frank had a shilling left in his pocket, or the ability to raise one! The captain, then, was there—and in the vicinity of Mr. Curtis; for the terrible Irishman had posted himself as near as possible to the box in which the Insolvents stand to be examined—in tho first place, that when T'rank should mount to that “bad eminence,” he might be close by to encourage him with his looks; and, in the second place, he had taken that particular stand as the one whence he could best dart ferocious glances at the Commissioners, in case these et ne ee 29 functionaries should take it into their heads to deal harshly with his friend. And now the business of that day’s proceeding, commenced; and the Clerk of the Court bawled out in a loud tone—“ Joshua Sheepshanks! ” “Were, my Christiap friend!” groaned the re- ligious gentleman, drawing himself slowly up to his full, thin, lanky height, and beginning to move slowly and solemnly towards the box above-mentioned. “Now, then— Joshua Sheepshanks!” cried the clerk, in a sharp tone. “ Come—Joshua Sheepshanks—look alive!” grum- bled the official who administers the oaths to the Insolvents. “Cut along, old fellow,” whispered Frank Curtis, giving the sanctimonious dissenter a hearty pinch on the leg as he passed by. Mr. Shespshanks uttered a low moan—cast up his eyes towards the lanthorn—muttered something about his having “ fallen amongst the ungodly ”’—and ended by hoisting himself into the box with some degree of alacrity, his slow movements having rendered the Court impatient. “Does any counsel appear for you, Joshua Sheep- shanks? ” demanded the clerk. “‘None—unless it be the Lord’s will that I should be supported by divine grace,” answered the dissent- ing minister, in so doleful a tone and with such a solemn shaking of the head that the whole Court was alarmed lest he was about to go off in a fit, “TI appear to oppose on behalf of several creditors,” said Mr. Bulliwell, one of the leading barristers prac- tising in that Court. “Qh! the persevering bitterness of those rancorous men!” exclaimed Mr. Sheepshanks, clasping his hands together, and turning up the whites of his cyes in an appalling fashion. “Silence, Insolvent!” cried the clerk, in a sharp tone. Meantime, the Commissioners had both been taking along and simultaneous stare at the religious gentle- man; and though one was purblind and the other in his dotage, they nevertheless seemed to arrive in the long run at pretty well the same conclusion—whick was, that Mr. Sheepshanks was a dreadful humbug. The glances they interchanged through their specta- cles expressed to each other this conviction; and the sharper of the two, who rejoiced in the name of Sneesby, forthwith proceeded to examine the schedule. “T see that you were oncea missionary in the South~ Sea Islands Bible Circulating Society, Insolvent?” said this learned functionary. “Under the divine favour, I was such a vessel in the good cause,” answered Mr. Sheepshanks, with the invariable nasal twang of hypvucrisy. “ A what?” demanded Mr. Commissioner Sneesby, in an impatient tone. “TTesays he was a vessel, sir,” observed Mr. Balli- well, the barrister. “It is a word much in vogue amongst tlie religious world.” “Oh! the Insolvent calls himself a, vessel—does he?” exclaimed the Commissioner. “ Well—he has come to a pretty anchorage at last.” “ And yet, sir, I can assure you he is no anchorite,” said Mr. Bulliwell. These were jokes on the part of the Commissioner and the counsel; and therefore the attorneys, the clerks, and the audience tittered, as in duty bound when the wig forgot its wisdom and indulged in wit, and the Insolyents all laughed too—but for another (C(O) (C DOO SS (SO)