The Grinder Papers — page 246: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE GRINDER PAPERS. 241 afeard o’ exhibitin’ their ignorance, and wouldn’t say nuthin’. So I gin it up and went and sot in a romantic spot by the water, tu eat the doughnuts I'd put in my pocket tu the table. ’Twas a shady grove, and I s’pose there warn’t no kind o’ bug or insect that warn’t there tu get up and down you as you sot on the grass. One long, black critter seemed tu hev a per- tickerlar spite at me, but I eended it by stompin’ on him, Ar- ter awhile I fell asleep. I was awakened by a most extraordinary splashin’ sound not fur from me, and Jookin’ up I saw tu my horror a feller-bein’ in the act o’ attemptin’ tu commit feller-de-spree, as the Reverend Mister’Parsons, Esquire, used tu call it. He was up tu his waist in the water, and appeared tu be tryin’ to throw hisself on his back. He warn’t attired in no great 0 garments, but when a feller-bein’s life is concerned fillanthrovy is more tu be thunk of than perpriety. I sprung tu my feet, claspin’ my handsand castin’ my expressive blue eyes tu the sky, and I seemed tu remember how't l’d heerd o’ the Humanitary berciety rewardin’a goold medal tu persons that had saved a _ feller-bein’s life at the sacrifice o’ their own. Even if ’twarn’t a medal, but a certificate, ‘twould be suthin’ tu frameand hev hung up in the parlor, sez I, and ef I &z I'll save him. So I rushes down tu the bank, wavin’ my numberill, and shrieks at the top o' my voice; ‘‘Come out 0’ that water short meter!. You needn’t calker- late on bein’ allowed tu feller-de-spree yourself in the presence (@) aAle Gomicbooks