The Grinder Papers — page 206: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE GRINDER PAPERS. 201 “He was good-lookin’, fur a Briggs ; so it ‘twarn’t long before évery gal found out she hed suthin’ tu du tu her teeth, and Tif- fany had a run o’ bizness. The heft of ‘em had the toothache reg’lar arter once goin’ tu him; which I think was a judgment for not submittin’ in the fust place. Well, one day Melindy Jenks came in to me, and sez I: ‘‘How are ye, Melindy?” Sez she, ‘‘ Atiserable I” ‘“‘Lor’,” sez I, ‘‘what ails ye?” ‘‘A tooth,” sez she. ‘‘I spent a hull week in York tryin’ to hev it out.” ‘Wouldn't it come?” sez I. ‘‘Well,” sez she, ‘‘the truth is, every dentist I went tu, the minnit I got into the cheer, away up in the air, and had my head well back, they went and kissed me.” ‘All of “em?” sez I. « ‘“Yes,” sez she.’ ‘Even an old sinner with gray hair. Then, of course, I wouldn’t stay.” “Well,” sez I, ‘‘that comes o’ not hevin’ a person o’ digni- tude along fur tu purtect ye. Tell ye what, Melindy, you come to my Cousin Briggs, and I'll sot by, and eff he was so inclined, he wouldn't durst kiss ye.” Sez she, ‘‘I’ll go, and thank ye And we went. Well, there was Tiffany, with a mustache half a yard long; and he purtended tu take airs and graces, and fur tu doubt whether he hed time fur another patient. I stopped him short. Gomichboo cS (E(0) m