The Grinder Papers — page 205: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

. —- ’ < mt | - may . “a sy 2) tae Se ae 7.4 i, & ~~ a * £00 THE GRINDER PAPERS: ‘“Well,” sez his pa, ‘‘seein’ you ain't no airthly use in the shop, I'm willin’ to humor ye, and ef you’d like to be a mason, there’s Plaster Brickman will take you ’prentice.” “Oh,” sez Tiffany, groanin’, ‘‘don't jest, pa. These here feclins o' mine is tu holy. A mason, never |” ‘Well, what then ?” sez his pa. ‘‘T'd like tu be a poet,” sez Tiffany. ‘You sna’n't ! that’s flat,” sez his pa. ‘“Then I must be a learned perfession,” sez Tiffany. ‘cE f the tin line ain't that, what is?” sez Mr. Briggs. ‘‘Well,” sez Tiffany, ‘‘you didn’t comprehend, pa; there’s but three learned perfessions—doctorin’, preachin’, and laren: in.” ) ‘*What du you know about any on ’em?” sez B, ‘“Weil,” sez he, ‘‘ef I had a diplomy, I’d doctor.” ‘*You desarve to be hung,” sez his pa. Jest then his ma comes in with the paper, and, hearin’ what was goin’ on, sez: | ‘“Why, land o’ Goshen! why don’t you bea dentifrice ? Take a set o lessons, and then sot up in Peekskill. It cant take long, and you’d be called ‘ doctor.’ ” Sez Tiffany, ‘‘I will, ma.” And next week he went tu York. He took six lessons, and came back perfect. He fetched along three big gold teeth to hang out, and a sign a yard long, anda lot o’ gold leaf and wax, and purty soon twas all over town how't Tiffany Briggs was a graddyated dentifrice. ‘@) comicbooks.com >