Ellen Percy; or, The Memoirs of an Actress — page 308: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘ . ELLEN PERCY; OR, THE MEMOIRS OF AN ACTRESS. quite accidental, yet on the other hand I could not help a slight misgiving to the effect that it might be more or less ominous: for | knew how terribly vindictive was his character. He had sougbt in Italy to wreak the deadliest vengeance upon the unfortunate Beatrice ; and more recently he had endeavoured to vent his vindictive rage upon Zarah, at the moment when he learnt that she had merely played a part in eliciting from his lips the secrets of his heart. I almost regretted that I had not mentioned to the Countess his presence in the Park : and I longed for an opportunity of hinting to Zarah herself that he was in the metropolis. Indeed, I began to think so seriously on these sub- jects that I penned a letter to Beatrice, and I was thinking how I should contrive to communicate with Mrs, St. Clair, when the afternoon’s post brought me a billet from her. It was to the effect that if by any possibility I could manage to be in the Regent’s Park at one o’clock on the morrow, She would meet me there: but for fear lest her letter should awaken in my mind any apprehen- Sions of mischief, she considerately added that it was in no way in reference to aught regarding my- self that she wished to see me, bnt simply for the purpose’ of a little friendly discourse. I resolved to keep this appointment; for I felt satisfied that Zarah would so arrange matters that our meeting should pass totally unobserved by her husband; and accordingly, on the following day, I proceeded to the Regent’s Park at the hour named. I met Zarah at the spot indicated in her letter ; and she pressed my hand with the warmest effusion. Ske looked exceeding well, and in no way as if she were &@ wife whose heart was break- ing through the secret cruelty of a husband. I at once began by expressing my warmest thanks for the service she had so recently rendered me in St. James’s Park, in baffling the endeavours of her husband to flee away with the precious docu- ment: but she hastened to interrupt me by ex- claiming, “I am so glad to see you now, dear Ellen! I thought you would feel interested in the circumstances of my position as a wife; and although that position is still a novel one, and but a few days old, yet its experiences are sufficient to show me what I have to expect on the part of my husband.” “I am indeed interested on the subject, my dear Zarah,” I responded, “Ido not ask if you repent the step which you have taken—for I see by your looks a “ Repent it, Ellen? Never!” ejaculated Zarah. “Ts not my ambition gratified? is not my vanity flattered P am I not cradied in luxuries and sur- rounded by all that wealth can purchase? On two or three occasions—eyen during the short time that I have as yet been a wife—I thhave expe- rienced haughty and scornful treatment from some of St. Clair’s fashionable friends: but I can afford to laugh at and despise such weak and impotent displays. On the other hand there are many of his friends who have flocked around us, anxious to pay their court to him by overwhelming me with attentions: and even yesterday two Cabinet Minis- ters treated me with as much distinction as if I had been the daughter of a Duchess, Ab, by the bye, Ellen! what think you? That wretched, wretched creature Lady Lilla Essendine, whom with a breath I could destroy 4 295 * Frankly, Zarah,’’ I interrupted her, “I saw if all; for I happened to be in the Park at the time.” “ And her conduct,” continued Zarab, “ produced no more effect upon me than the breeze which was passing at the time. Amongst the party with which she rode, was a certain Colonel Bellew—a man of desperate fortunes, and who some while ago was indebted to Hdwin St. Clair, if not actually for the means of subsistence, at least for the set- tlement of those pressing claims which menaced bim with a gaol. There was at that period no dirty work which Bellew was not prepared to per- form fs “T know it,” I inwardly thought: but I did not interrupt Zarah. “ In short,” she continued, “ he would have done anything for gold: he was the veriest creature that ever fawned at a master’s hand! But because St, Clair refused a short time back to minister any farther to his extravagances, the wretch has now turned round upon him. Never can I forget the look of lofty scorn which Edwin flung upon that man and Lady Lilla Essendine! Ob, at the moment I felt proud of him asahusband! Yes —I even felt as if I loved him as well asin former times I loved him !” “And now, Zarab,” I said, “in reference to those matters which more immediately concern yourself ?” “ Before the world, and in the presence of his domestics,” continued Zarah, “St. Clair treats me as if the tale which you doubtless read in the newspapers, were strictly true; and mine is a de« meanour calculated to sustain the impression which that ingenious fiction produced. But when we are alone together, St. Clair’s look alters, as if he him- self had suddenly disappeared and another being had taken his place. There is all the wickedness of Lucifer in his countenance!—the wickeduess of that Satan who is so grandly described by Milton in all the beauty of the fallen angel! The haughtiest scorn blends fearfully with the most withering contempt:—at least such would be the bDlight- ing “effect of that look upon any other: but lam unmoved by it. Generally I affect to perceive it not: but if by any circumstance I am compelled to glance towards him, it is with an air of supreme defiance. He does not condescend to give vent to his feelings in reproaches or upbraidings: he doubtless thinks the expression of such bitterness would display a rancour beneath the dignity of a sovereign scorn and a haughty contempt. Besides, words would be overheard; and it is his object to deceive the world in respect to the true motives of the alliance which he has formed. He may con- tinue, my dear Ellen, to wear his coldly scornful demeanour as long as he likes: he will not thereby break my heart. It must cost him a greater effort to maintain this offensive part, than it costs me to act as it were on the defensive with my own cali yet proud defiant looks. We shall see who will be wearied first !” “You tell me, Zarah,” I said, endeayouring as well as I could to conceal the pain which was oe- casioned me by this fearful description of their married life, —‘‘ you tell mo that many of St. Claix’s friends have rallied around him and are be- coming your friends. Do-you not think that when the conviction shall dawn in upon him that Com Ghboo 6S Com