Match as a Fakir; or, The Pumpkinville County Fair — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

No. 56. ong. Both refused to go. It didn’t take much to refuse. They supe Sereda their feet. And when two elephants refuse to stir, yhat i do about it? are you going to tpt f° dot arm!” cried Mr. Schmidt, ‘or I’ll bust you all ter ieces F And he was as good as his word. The detective didn’t let go. And suddenly Mr. Schmidt tripped him up and sat down on him. ae Rye pany ‘ Well, I could see a head sticking out at one si i of squirming feet at the other, but that was all. Sa ALS Ee Meanwhile, detective the other had gotten ahead of his pris- oner by ramming his head into Mr. Bauerman’s stomach nearly causing that individual to collapse. But a moment later the crushed detective was on his feet again; Mr. Bauerman managed to get a grip on his second wind, and then all hands sailed in for glory. oo > aD The two Germans were as mad as locked-out hornets. They thought the detectives toughs of the first water. kin ‘And the tives were positive that the two fat men were the luniest of lunatics. ‘*Bolice! bolice!’”’ shrieked Mr. Schmidt. bolice!”’ ‘‘Help! help!” cried detective the second. And getting a good chance, he blew his whistle for assist- ance. And five minutes later three policemen arrived. Meanwhile a crowd of several hundred people had gathered. Then the five officers of the law tried to take the two Germans to a lock-up. Whew! Talk of a row! Every one was positive he was right, and wouldu’t listen to any one else under any consideration. But the policemeu drew their clubs and that settled it. Clubs were trumps. In vain Mr. Bauerman and Mr. Schmidt protested that they were honest, law-abiding citizens of Pumpkinville, but it was no use. ‘‘Tiefs! murder! 3 THE NUGGET LIBRARY. E At the same time Mr. Schmidt received a similar hint to go|cl mixed. ‘All right, Match, fire away; I’m under orders.” And this is the way 1 introduced him: ‘“‘Mr. Meadows, this is my friend, Mr. Robert Wind London. He is a splendid fellow, but unfortunately, th can hear excellently, he was born dumb, and has ney able to speak a word in his life.” By the boots, but wasn’t Jim mad? | He gave me a look that was meant to pee ya me. ee fairly ached to give me a very, very large chunk of his mind. But he didn’t dare to open his mouth. It made the tears come to his eyes to swallow the libel and say nothing. But it had to be done. | “Glad ter meet yeou, Mr. Wind n,”’ said the old farmer, giving Jim’s hand a shake that nearly cracked every bone in it, ‘Darn ef I hain’t sorry yer tongue’s tied fast. But yer right welcome ter come ter Apple Blossom farm, ennyhow.” And Jim had to bow, and smile, and all that, while at the ee ae he gave me a kick in the shins that nearly took me off my feet. The old farmer had rigged up a second seat in his wagon, and [sat on this, with the overpowering Clarissa beside me, while Jim and Mr. Meadow occupied the front. We were soon on the way, the old farmer talking at a lively rate to Jim, and my partner sitting as dumb as an oyster, and ever and anon giving me a look that sent a cold wave scampering through my ribs. As for Clarissa, she wss just too sweet to exist. She evidently thought she had mein full tow, and gushed over me like @ Murray Hill girl over a pet spitz. And I made myself thoroughly at home, We reached Apple Blossom Farm, and were soon in the ho where we were introduced to Mrs. Meadow, who hustled tana to get an extra fine supper for Cousin Obadish’s friends. And I guess that supper was about the only thing in our visit that Jim enjoyed. After the meal Jim smoked his pipe along with the old farmer, bag Clarissa and her ‘‘maw” listened to more of my fairy tales. But presently the daughter gave the mother a pretty broad Both detectives swore that the Germans were insane men, and | hint on two being company, and the old lady retired, leaving us so they were hustled into a wagon, and under guard of two|in the parlor alone. blue-coats, and heavily handcuffed, were driven off to the county jail. Awful! wasn’t it? CHAPTER XI. GHOST STORIES, AND A GHOST. ' In the crowd that watched the departure of the wagon con- taining the two luckless prisoners, I found Jim, who was covy- ered with dust, and all out of breath from his long walk. . ‘How in thunder did you get here?’ he exclaimed, in sur- prise. _ “Oh, I got tired of tramping, so I waited for my private coach to come along and got aboard,” I replied, coolly. “Cut it, oh——” ‘Fact, Jim. Got a special invitation out to dine this evening, ° O. >) Jim gave a far-away look. “Oh, you needn’t doubt it. You’re to go, too.”’ I took him into my confidence, and told him all about my meeting with Mr. Elizur Meadow and his gushing daughter Vlarissa.”’ ro ly. ‘‘Dead fact, Match?’’ id- ‘*Hope to die 5 ‘m- “Then you take the—the whole bakery, Match; you’re the rreatest :. ped “Hold up, Jim, or PU——”’ ' “T forgot, Match.” In the fair grounds everybody was getting ready for the grand ord pening at ten o’clock on the following morning. ‘Then we went off and hired a small corner stand, locked our one. Woods up in safe place, and were ready for business on the mor- Ow. 0. |, And I determined that our business should be of the very veliest kind. At sundown we made our way to the gate, and found Mr. Eh- and @ur Meadow and Clarissa waiting for us. walk § At the last instant I couldn’t resist the temptation to pile one ore joke up poor Jim’s back. “Keep quiet, Jim, now until you are introduced, and listen ! At the same time I heard Jim tramp up stairs. ‘“‘Kxcuse me fora moment,” I said, ‘‘I want to bid my friend good-night. Then I will come down again and spin you the real secret of my life.’’ I hurried after Jim, and found him alone in the bedroom that had been set apart for our use. ‘‘Match, you miserable, long-backed——”’ he began. “Stop, Jim, or you'll ruin everything,” I pnt in hastily. “T don’t carea rap. Why, you blasted young heathen, my jaws are fairly aching to sing, and here I’ve got to sit as quiet as a clam.” ‘‘All done for a purpose, Jim,” ‘‘Purpose be hanged?” he howled. ‘‘Very well, have your own way,” I said, in injured tones, and preparing to leave. ‘‘Yes, but Match, if this keeps on I'll get the lockjaw!” he pleaded. ‘Do you want to let out so badly?” ‘“Yes,I do. Ifeelso bad I'd give a dollar to sing one verse of Shoo Fly or Captain Jenks, or any other laid-in-the-grave song.” “Then, listen, Jim, and I'll tell you how you can do it, and no one be the wiser.” And I told him. At first he didn’t approve of my plan, but I told him there was no other way, and he consented. ‘But remember, Jim,” I said, ‘‘it must be awfully solemn.” “Solemn as a grave-yard, Match,”’ he replied. ‘‘And I nonestl hope you will get hung for what you’re going to do,” he added, “Thanks, Jim, for your kindness,” I replied. ‘Just watch ont for any stray dose of buckshot that may be traveling your way.” Then I went back to Clarissa. She had arranged a big arms chair near the window, and had turned down the light, ‘‘to get a nicer look at the lovely full moon,” as she explained, Well, we talked of the moon and the fair and so on, and gradually I began the story of my life by asking herif she had ever seen a ghost. “Oh, laws! no!’ she cried, ‘‘an’ I don’t want ter, either.’ ‘“‘T have seen two—or rather one twice,” I returned, in aa intense whisper. tf comicboo cS er a what I say, because we don’t want to get things j es ; ough he Ss er been