Life, 1929-08-09 · page 24 of 44
Life — August 9, 1929 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page nostagically contrasts Long Beach's past elite status with its present decline. "The Good Old Days" laments Long Beach's transformation from a fashionable resort—where celebrities like dancers Vernon and Irene Castle performed—into an overcrowded "Coney Island" frequented by working-class "Cloak and Suiters" and "Shoe clerks." "The Lido" presents a new upscale club attempting to recapture that lost exclusivity, offering private beaches and first-class amenities. "Fifty Million Motorists" satirizes the weekend traffic problem: the newly accessible Long Beach attracts masses of automobiles, creating chaos compared to the "Charge of the Light Brigade." The satire suggests implementing a "stagger system" where different social groups (I's, Y's, Smiths, Cohens) visit on alternate days. "Mystery" jokes about the "Cryptic Restaurant"—a poorly run establishment where the menu is incomprehensible ("cryptic"), waiters are never present, and butter portions miserly. The overall tone mocks both elite nostalgia and mass commercialization.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
22 The Good Old Days : WELVE years ago Long Beach Te the Riviera of Manhattan's élite . . . them was the good old days when Irene and Vernon Cas- tle danced at their Castles-By-The- Sea to the tune of Jim Europe's or- chestra and you sat and drank real cocktails and rubbed elbows with seal celebrities who didn’t indorse cigarettes... when the Horel Nassau was in its prime... when the Lafayette served the best Tom Collins on the At lantic Coast . . . when every body else in the world didn’t have automobiles and it’ was just a nice drive out... when Lung Beech Then came the great drought . . . as the years went by Long Beach de- generated into just another Coney Is- land . . . it became overcrowded with Cloak and Suiters, Shoe clerks and the ocean: got to be like the Shelton pool around five o'clock. The Lido at Long Beach ee ee xo 1 Fs be The Lido And then some 4 bright litle citizen / brought forth the Lido... here at the upper end of Long Beach ‘is just. what you have been look- ing for all these years... here is a club where you may bathe and not think you are in the sub. way ...a mile of private beach, your own private board- walk where you may sit. out in the open under gayly colored umbrellas and watch beautiful gels by, and a clubhouse that makes the Westchester-Biltmore look like Poe’s cottage ... here are spacious dining rooms with two or chestras, wide verandas, billiard rooms and bowling alleys and all the other accessories of a first-class country club . there’s only one catch... . pass Fifty Million Motorists In order to yet to Long Beach it is necessary to join the great’ motor parade and the Charge of the Light Brigade was a picnic compared to the Merrick road ot a Sunday . . . motors to right of you, motors to left of you. volley and thunder! Their’s not to reason why! . . . something's got 10 be done about this week-end traffic | part . here’s a chance for Grover Whu lette Jen to do something in his spare time | upor . why couldn't the stagger system thea be used? «let the [’’s start at 9:00 =i aM, the Y’s at 9:30 a. M., ete... that or make the Smiths and the Cohen: lola stay at home on alternate Sundays. | Is Mystery | y Driving up the Albuny Post Roud | hetw the other day we saw a billboard ad. is h vertising an eating place called the “Ww Cryptic Restaurant, located in one of | dra the On-Hudson towns . . . it’s a swell name... many restaurants in New York could bear that name with gen uine fitness . . . their cryptographical skill approaching virtuosity in their hash, the basis of their prices, the whereabouts of their waiters when wanted, their »hilosophy toward giv- ing more than one piece of butter, and many other things. comicbooks.com