Life, 1929-03-01 · page 9 of 36
Life — March 1, 1929 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous short story about marital discord, not political satire. The narrative concerns Tom Holliday, whose wife Mary calls him "Old Muffer" because he disappeared on their wedding night—a source of long-standing marital tension. The story's humor derives from domestic life: Tom left to help his brother, Mary thought he'd abandoned her, and years later when he finally returns home, their dog Humphrey eats their prized possession (Old Muffer the dog). The couple eventually reunites and laughs about the absurd situation. The accompanying illustration shows three figures in what appears to be a home interior, likely depicting a key moment in the reconciliation. The satire targets marriage mishaps and miscommunication rather than political figures.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Life Short Stories of Life Old Muffer By Fowler duPont OM HOLLIDAY, called to the phone at his club, heard his for- mer wife’s voice coming over the wire: “Tom—will you help me?” “[ did help you. For the two hun- dred years we were married I helped you—then you removed me.” “Tom, this is different—you've got to help me. Old Muffer’s disap- peared!” “What?” “Yes, Tom,” the voice was tearful. “When I woke up this morning he wasn’t here and I can’t find him and —Tom, do you suppose somethings happened to him? Maybe he’s been run over!” Tom Holliday hadn't waited for the details. He started pell mell for Westbury where his wife lived in the old house they had owned. On the road out he fell to think- ing about Old Muffer. How well he remembered the day he'd given him to Mary—for their second anniversary. He laughed to himself as he thought about the fight they'd had because he hadn't been able to say what kind of a dog he was. Mary'd felt gypped then, but Muffer, big, friendly fleaful old Muffler had fixed that up. Tom thought about Humphrey, the old butler they'd had and how Muffer had gotten under his skin, first by breaking one of his front teeth in a moment of high spirit, then by following him into the kitchen after the meat course every night. Humphrey’d tried to persuade them from the divorce. Tom was fond of Humphrey. It began to snow before Tom was half-way there. By the time he ar- rived it was inches deep and the warmth of the big house felt good. In the library he found Mary. She was pacing the floor. “Tom, thank God you came. I don’t know what to do.” “What happened?” Still tearful she told him of how Muffer had eaten his midnight cracker and licked up some beer, how they'd gone to bed and how she had vainly searched for him in the morning. Humphrey was called into the con- ference. He felt that a search should be made. “It’s too damned cold for that sort of thing,” said Tom. “T'll go with you,” said Mary, and that had settled it. Together they had tramped through the snowy woods and fields, Tom help- ing his wife over the rough places, cursing some at the weather and no- ticing, every now and then, how pretty she was in her excitement. He won- dered. Eventually they gave up. The earth had quite swallowed old Muffer. Sadly they turned and retraced their steps. It was eight before they wear- ily climbed the steps to the front door, and rang the bell. Humphrey opened it. There was a noise like an express train going over a bridge and Muffer, himself, smelling like nothing human, came throwing himself on them. “Where did you find him?” “He came back of himself, sir, just after you'd gone,” said Humphrey. Then he left the room. Tom stayed to dinner, It was pleasant, he thought; house, wife, dog, Humphrey. Damn it, why did Hum- phrey have to look so pleased at his being there? He didn’t want to drive back to town in the snow. Mary said to him: “Tom, it was wonderful of you to come. Do you know I haven't seen you since—since the divorce? I'm almost glad Muffer ran away.” Tom didn’t drive back to town in the snow. He went back the next day, laughing to himself at the amusing experience of sleeping in the guest (Continued on Page 32) comicbooks.com