Life — March 1, 1929 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

An Open Letter Dear Mayor Walker Y NOT let Grover Whalen go back to Wanamaker’s and make Flo Ziegfeld Police Commissioner? . . . can’t you just pic- ture a police force of “Our Finest” glorified girls? ... can you imagine a better way of beautifying the city? « » and what a substitute for the loud mouthed tyrants that stalk our streets at the present time! . . . who would go past a traffic signal with a Gladys Glad holding up her hand? . . . who could resist an officer of Bernice Ackerman’s iype? ... Who would mind being bawled out by a Zieg- feld copess? ... shouts from the populace “No one!” . . . lawlessness would disappear at once from our fair city . . . hardened criminals, instead of skulking behind closed doors and hid- ing away in low speakeasies, would be out in the open trying to make a hit with the policemen! . . . and think of the tickets they could sell for the Po- licemen's Ball! Opening Night HE SONG which — brought down the house at the opening of Earl Car- roll’s “Fios retta” was sung by Fannie Brice... in it’ she chorused the ques- tion “What Did Cleo- patra Have that 1 Morning Inspection of ‘Our Finest” by Police Commissioner Ziegfeld. haven't got?” . . . which left the door wide open . . . though knowing little of the private life of Cleo I would haz- ard the guess that she did have just a bit of refinement . . . as an encore Earl Carroll himself should have come out and sung “What Has Flo Ziegfeld Got That I Haven't Got?” and I would have jumped to my feet as one man and cried out “Good taste!” .. . but why blame Fannie Brice when the del- icatessen opening nighters roll in the aisles at her leering jokes on degener- acy? ... why blame Earl Carroll for overloading his palette when the vul- garians out front cheer each rising of the curtain? . . . it’s merely the law of supply and demand . . . the Merchant of Gotham paid twenty five dollars for his seat and he wants his pound of flesh! ..and just to show the value of vulgarity Fioretta broke the season’s theatrical record for last week's busi- ness! . . . the uplift of the Drama! Knows All—Sees All IN A WELL known supper dub a titian haired beauty wanders among the customers selling “Cigaws and cig’rettes” . . . her salary is two hun dred dollars a week but she doesn't make it on “smokes” . . . this little lady is the official club “spotter” . . . she knows the ancestry and business of every one that has come into the club in the past five years . . . a wink from her and the waiter knows it is all right to “serve” the customer . . . she says that she has never made a mistake and it is not hard to believe her... she has the eye of an house detective, the voice of a buzzsaw and the figure of a Venus . . . she is mar. ried to a hoofer and has two children . .. this article really should have been in the American magazine! Sh! THE University Club, not to be con- fused with the University club, is comicbooks.com