Life, 1928-12-14 · page 36 of 48
Life — December 14, 1928 — page 36: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects humorous anecdotes and brief jokes satirizing contemporary American society. The main cartoon shows two figures on a road—a bearded older man directing a young boy, captioned with dialogue about directions. The humor appears to play on miscommunication or uncertainty. The written pieces mock various targets: military discipline (a Negro soldier's casual greeting to an officer), literary pretension (a poetess expecting poetic inspiration from casual encounters), and consumer absurdity (a classified ad for ornamental reindeer sleighs). The page's subtitle—"Aut Scissors aut Nullus" (Latin: "Either scissors or nothing")—suggests editorial selection: Life's editors are culling or "cutting" foolish contemporary behavior worth mocking. The pieces use racial dialect and stereotypes typical of 1920s-era humor, reflecting attitudes now recognized as offensive. Overall, it's social satire targeting affectation, pretension, and everyday human foolishness.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Aut Scissors aut Nullus” Tue Deo: P'raps yeut'd better go on ahead Tue Boy: Yessir. What direction? Prevent (Loxnes). ny piratissins WHY GET MAD? Ar Camp Grant, during the war, the officers had difficulty in getting the proper salutes from the men, Lecture followed lecture, but appar- ently to no avail. A Negro private met a captain one morning, and greeted him with ‘Howdy, boss."* Followed a long tirade from the captain on the correct way to salute. The buck private listened in silence, scratched his head, and fi- nally said: “Lawsy, boss, if Ah‘d thought you was gwine git so mad about it, Ah wouldn't of spoke to you a-tall."* —From the bulletin of Naval Post, American Legion. GIGOLO LITTERAIRE Tue carest tale of the Eastern literati concerns a famous poetess and the latest gentleman to be her inspiration. They met on Fifth Avenue the other afternoon by a delightful accident. “And when,"' asked the lady, “fare you going to pose for another poem?"* —Chicago Evening Post. “Now, Arthur, restrain yourself." sweetness, I haven't even strained my- —Rutgers Chanticleer. “For Sate—Alaskan reindeer, gentle, tame, and can be led through city streets. Fine antlers,” good condition. Also sleigh, painted bright red, highly ornamental, with compartment in back for letters from Santa, mounted on wheels for use in cities, and six sets of harness equipped with bells to fil reindeer."—Adv. in The Billboard. Tr ever we wanted anything, we want that. —New Yorker. His Master's Voice —Lusnice Buirrer (Betis). BOUQUET FOR A BROADCASTER A sax whom I could hear forever Upon the air is David Lawrence He just tells facts, with no endeavor To be jocose or cute or clever; A thing I hold in high abhorrence —L. H. R., in New York Times. A PATHOLOGICAL CASE Tue midnight blonde débutante who manicures and massages the halls in the Gilbert & Sullivan studios was cursing the fate that had p her to bestow her hand and heart on de laziest niggah in de whole 0° Hahlem.”” She paused to smooth a wrinkle in her cham- pagne-colored hose: ‘Ah guess ‘bout de bes’ thing Ah kin de she said, “tis take dat baby to de doctah an’ hab him psycho-annihilated!""—Panorama. “My moneylending business is soundest itself; it is like a rook. —Ad @ Weekly Peper. Ix fact, we shouldn't be surprised if it actually is a rook.—Humorist (London). Arter looking at him five hours, a writer in California said a flagpole sitter was wasting his time.—Detroit News, comicbooks.com