Life — November 9, 1928 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sectional Disputes Tue Navy went on the rocks three times in a row and Penn brought out a line - busting, rip - snorting football player by the name of Gentle, which indicates that the well- known dope is running for Sweeney in this gridiron campaign. Anything can happen. It is said that Missouri is going to advance on New York with a forward line capable of knocking over all the tall buildings on Manhattan Island. This is fair warning to N. Y. U. but, according to the Missourians, it isn’t important. “Never mind the line,” they said re- by John Kieran iron. They have a real Indian chief in te line-up, one of the Nez Percés. He 5 § | good broken English and still thinks thy cently. “Watch that backfield. they're all ten-second men, flat.” A somewhat cynical Easterner, who had seen Lassman, Grant and other giant forwards of the unblushing Violet in action, agreed with the Missouri. state- ment in part: “That’s what they'll be when they hit that N. Y. U. line; ten-second men—flat.” Well, there’s more bad news than that. The gentlemen-farmers from Oregon State are coming East for a Thanksgiving Day battle at the Yankee Stadium. They also promise to plow up the N. Y. U. line and harrow the feelings of all sup- porters of Eastern prestige on the grid- Boy, as | \WHOSPEVER KNOWINGLY, AND WITH | MALICE AFORETHOUVGHT, DEUBERATELY \ SELIS, OR BY SUBTLE APPEALS TO VANITY, CAUSES To BE SOLD, \ TO ANY PERSON OR PERSONS, OF THE MALE SEX BETWEEN THE AGES OF IB AND G5, AN ARTICLE OF APPAR KNOWN AS A “DERBY SUCH OFFENDER SHALL BE, IF FOUND GUILTY, ADJUDGEDT ee How A CAW (Ss MADE _ IN (tS RAW cite TS MADE OBTUSE, OBSCURE, AND OPAQUE BY A COMMITTEE OF OBESE EXPERT WHO HAVE QUALIFIED FOR THEI PosfTiONS BY READING AN INCOME TAX BLAM BACKWARD AND FORWARD. ——— (T coarse BEA BIT MORE CONFUSING~ | (wT WWHEOR Te | FIRST READING it would be a good idea to allow the uy of a tomahawk, at least until the ling of scrimmage is passed. Then they have a fellow named Hensy Honolulu Hughes, which must be an alizs in part, because he is a native Hawaiian, He plays the ukulele on the Oregon Stat team and also does the kicking—bare. footed! Yes, sir; when it comes time tp punt the ball down the field or drop a field goal over the crossbar, Mr, Hughes of Hawaii removes his right shoe and stocking and goes into action. So far, there has been no explanation of this queer procedure but it may be something hike the apology of a certain big league baseball announcer who uses a very small megaphone, one that looks as if it were picked before it was ripe. “I have such a powerful voice,” said this announcer, “that if I used a full-sized megaphone | would knock the crowd down.” Perhaps if Honolulu Hughes kept his shoe on, he would kick the ball out of the county But that isn’t all. A Californian and a resident of the Hudson Valley were talk. ing recently of the coming Stanford-Army scrap. Here's a segment of the convers- tion: “The Army, ha! Applesauce! Wait un til this boy Biff Hoffman hits those tin soldiers. He comes from Petaluma, the biggest poultry center in the world, and he’s a hard-boiled egg.” “So? The big egg from Petaluma, hey? Bud Sprague and those other Army guys will make an omelette of that egg. Or would you rather have him scrambled?” “You birds in the East have never seen a real football player, but wait until you get a glimpse of this Hoffman going through the infantry, the cavalry and the blooming engineers. Watch him bust thit line!” “I doubt if he'll ever get up to the line. They'll smear him three yards back.” “And we've got others—not quite 9 good as Hoffman, maybe, but better than anything you fellows ever saw in the way of real football players. It will be Army, good night!” “California, there she blows!” ; Then, and only then, did the Cal fornian uncork an overhand right, but it was a rotten fight. The Easterner won, going away. He was very fast on his feet ———EEEE—————— SHORT CUT Atice: What are your views on lore? Vircinta: I haven't any views—I jet love! comicbooks.com